


You Can't Gamble For Love

by JackOfTheBox



Category: Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (1974), The Great Gatsby (2013)
Genre: Alpha Jay Gatsby, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And Jordan is an exasperated lesbian, It's all fine I promise everyone lives, It's modern but not like too modern??, M/M, Nick is such a bottom honestly, Nobody is Dead, Omega Nick Carraway, Protective Jay is doing his best, Slow Burn, Tom can fuck off to hell, fuck tom, hopefully, i just rlly hate him ok, idk like its not the twenties but like, its weird I'm sorry, the rape part is like in the past its just like memories and dreams and stuff i promise, yeet tom into the sun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-04-06 10:28:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14054946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackOfTheBox/pseuds/JackOfTheBox
Summary: As the only Omega in his family, Nick has always been somewhat of a disappointment, not to mention his seeming inability to gain a mate. When he moves to New York, it's to escape the judgement of his hometown, not to find a mate. But with all the attention from his Jordan, his cousin's glamorous friend, and from Mr Jay Gatsby, the stunning Alpha next door, that might be exactly what he finds.





	1. A Disappointing Choice (Not)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I don't know how to explain it, but I didn't want this in the twenties, so I said 'modern'. I suppose the only thing that really changes is technology and clothing, although I'd really rather prefer to keep them as close to who they are as possible. Although, as I didn't create the characters, it's a bit difficult for them to be exactly as they originally were...

The Carraways was ecstatic when they gave birth to their son. They were known for their ability to produce Alphas, but from the moment he could talk, it seemed that that would not be the case this time. 

Nick was a quiet young boy, shy and soft-spoken. He preferred reading indoors as opposed to the loud, rough sports the other boys participated in. They'd enrolled Nick into a small school, created for the purpose of teaching young Alphas just how to be, well, Alphas. 

Nick presented much later than other boys, so late that his schoolteachers thought perhaps he had a sickness, and they isolated him from his classmates. When he did present, it was much to the disappointment of his parents and teachers, because it was as they'd feared- their Nicky was an Omega. 

He'd been pulled from school, and his parents hired a private tutor for him. They were mortified when his first heat began, but Daisy, doll that she was, had brought him water and made sure no one entered his room. Daisy herself was an Omega, so they grew close through their teen years. She stayed a watch outside his door through his heats, and kept him hydrated, as long he did the same for her. They gossiped constantly about the type of person they each hoped to marry, but it seemed only Daisy would be attracting any Alphas. She was, after all, beautiful, while Nick was only average-looking. His theory about them was proven correct the older they got, especially when Daisy announced she was getting married to Tom Buchanan, a wealthy and respectable Alpha. Nick had met him in college after giving up on ever entering the military. He was extremely attractive, although surely even Daisy had to admit his personality left something to be desired. Nick was almost sure that her mother had convinced her to do it, which Nick thought was rather sad, because Daisy had often whispered to him about a kind and handsome young man, an Alpha that she couldn't marry only because he'd left for war, and she couldn't wait that long, not for someone who wasn't wealthy. It wouldn't do for her to marry lower than herself. Nick didn't attend the wedding.

-

When I moved to New York, I got the sense that the people in my town were happy to see me go. I'd always been a bit of an embarrassment to my family, the only Omega in a family of Alphas and strong willed Betas, and while they kissed me goodbye a little tearily, I felt they were tears of relief. Unfortunately, my financial situation wasn't the greatest, and even if it had been, many realtors in New York didn't seem to willing to cater to an Omega anyway. In the end, I ended up in what passed for a house, but looked more like a shack compared to the gorgeous mansion that spread out next door. I could see the fine line where the decaying grass of my yard met the well kept lawn of my neighbor's, and there was no doubt in my mind the house belonged to some prestigious Alpha and his family. I just prayed that whoever it was had a mate and was loyal to them, because although the mansion itself was so far away you'd almost need a car, I didn't want to deal with some asshole hanging around my door every few months. 

I went to visit Daisy and Tom after I'd finally settled, making sure to figure out a date with Daisy that we would both be able to handle, since Daisy had told me to let myself have a few days to make sure the move hadn't messed with my cycle (I'd always been sensitive to things like that, too much stress always messed with me). I took a taxi over, only after fixing my clothing and hair multiple times before deciding it wasn't about to get any better, and I might as well go as I was, or just not go at all. I was constantly checking my hair in the reflection on the window, until the driver informed me that it was fine. I bit back a scowl at my own reflection.

Daisy's house was huge, and I figured that it had to have come from Tom, because Daisy probably would have been content in the same sized house as mine. Tom greeted me on the front step, sweaty from some sports game or another (I had never cared much for Tom's sports), and he slung his arm around my shoulders. I promptly tilted my head away from Tom, for he reeked, both from sweat and the fact that Tom's scent had never been a pleasant one. Once I stepped into the house, however, I found myself surprised, because there was another scent to rival Tom's, a softer and sweeter one that I much preferred, and one that was fainter, but that I recognized well. Daisy practically floated into the room, her skirt sweeping the floor and a smile big enough to dwarf the size of the room.

"Nicky!" Her voice was even sweeter than it had been over the phone, and she swept me up into her arms. She'd always somehow been a bit stronger than me, and I found myself gasping for breath before she finally let go. "Oh, Nicky!" She cried, dragging me into the sitting room, "I've missed you so dearly! How are they fairing without me back home?" I felt a smile creep onto my face. I'd missed Daisy's shimmering personality, brighter than a thousand stars and glamorous enough to match her style.

"They absolutely weep in the streets over you," I answered. I found myself being pushed onto a sofa, alongside the source of the unfamiliar scent. A young woman, Daisy's age, dressed in shorts and a tight shirt, her hair back in a loose ponytail, turned her attention to me. 

"So. You're the Nick Daisy's been gushing about seeing." She took a sip of her drink, and I gave a shy nod. I'd met a few Alphas, usually within my own family or someplace they were unavoidable, but I'd had yet to meet one that was a girl. She smiled, and I relaxed almost instantly. She seemed much kinder than Tom, and I wondered if that was why Daisy seemed so calm. "I'm Jordan," she added, extending a hand. I took it almost immediately and shook it.

"Nick," I told her, "but Daisy's been calling me Nicky since we were kids, even though I told her I really didn't like it, and-" I continued on like that for a while, prattling about nothing in particular, and I stopped upon seeing the amused smile on Jordan's face. I'd become all too aware that I was rambling, and that Daisy had probably already told her this if she'd been 'gushing' about me, and suddenly all I could think about was the terrible heat in my cheeks. I dropped Jordan's hand at once, my gaze falling to my knees.

"Well then, Nick, seems like you could use a drink!" Tom's voice boomed throughout the room as he clapped a solid hand on my shoulder, the other hand waving for a butler to get me something to drink. I was once again unfortunately assaulted by the awful scent of Tom, and thought bitterly on how best to burn clothing so that it may never reek again. Daisy flashed me an almost apologetic smile, for she knew of my disliking of Tom, although even if she'd agreed to simply meet me for lunch, that awful stench would have followed her. Tom, fortunately, seemed to think that Daisy's smile was a loving one, meant for him, so he crossed the room to kiss her forehead. She turned her head to smile at him for real this time, and I turned my head away. As much as I disliked Tom, I would not say I hated him. But I most definitely hated the mark on Daisy's neck. It stood out awfully, as though it hadn't been cared for at all when it was made, and it bitterly reminded me that Daisy could have had anyone else if not for ridiculous tradition forced upon her by her mother. I found myself surprised for what had to have been the third time that day to find that Jordan had turned her head away with a pain in her eyes, although I couldn't possibly fathom why, unless she too thought that the mark was sloppy and disapproved immensely of Tom as well. If that was the case, then she and I would get on wonderfully.

As it turned out, Jordan played golf professionally, the only person I had met that could actually beat Daisy (although Daisy was spoiled, and I had to admit that I'd led a bit of a sheltered life). Jordan was kind enough, and I found that in fact, she did dislike Tom immensely, although she wouldn't tell me why. I assumed it was simply that he was a male Alpha, and she was a woman, or something along those lines. It was hard to think when I could smell Tom's stink from across the room.

"So, Nicky, how are you doing in that new house of yours? Where is that anyway?" I turned my attention to Daisy, who had leant forward, elbows on her knees. Tom voiced that he didn't know I had moved, which I ignored.

"Ah, it's over on West Egg. Next to some mansion, but I haven't met who lives there." Jordan made a noise of surprise.

"Oh? That must be Gatsby. He throws the best parties, you know." Daisy snorted, a sound I hadn't expected. I furrowed my eyebrows and Jordan hummed. "I suppose she's right. Mostly Betas and Alphas go, it's not necessarily a scene you should probably find yourself at." I looked away. It appeared I'd been right, my neighbor was an Alpha after all. Daisy sat straight up.

"Maybe you should go, Nicky!" She had a bright look in her eyes. "Maybe you'd finally meet someone!" My face warmed. I don't know why I felt so embarrassed, there was no need for anyone to mention that I was single to Jordan, I smelled of no Alpha, and I had no mark of my own. "Oh, you'd love that! You could finally have a boyfriend, Nicky!" My face heated further. Perhaps it was obvious I had no mate of my own now, but I did not see it necessary for Daisy to point out that I'd never been with anyone. Ever. 

"D-Daisy!" Jordan laughed as my voice cracked, and Tom gave a low chuckle before the butler offered me another drink. I downed it faster than I probably should have. "Perhaps I should- perhaps I should head on home..." Daisy gave a cry of anguish, as though I'd stabbed her rather than suggest I head home. 

"Won't you stay Nick? Daisy did miss you so." Jordan put a hand on my shoulder and Tom moved past me to answer the phone, and suddenly I felt dizzy. Perhaps I was in over my head, in Tom's house, overwhelmed by both his stench and by the intoxicating scent of Jordan, and I stood, but the floor swayed beneath my feet, and the floorboards seemed far too close, and then I found myself on the balcony, leaning half on the railing and half on Daisy, and all I could smell was the salt of the bay. I found that I could see Gatsby's house across the bay, and thought faintly of Jordan's comment that he threw magnificent parties, and wondered if Tom and Daisy could see them from here.

"I think perhaps I should go home," I repeated. As much as I had missed Daisy, and the comfort I drew from her as someone who didn't look down on me, I felt a sudden urge to be home immediately. The horrific thought that perhaps being in this house with two Alphas, combined with the stress of moving, had been too much for me. Daisy and I had decided that four days was enough space between now and when my heat should start up, but maybe we were wrong. 

"Nicky, are you sure? It's just stuffy in there, is all, are you s-"

"Daisy!" I gave her the same look I'd give her across dance floors during parties when we'd been careless and forgotten that I was nothing like those in attendance. She immediately looked concerned, and practically dragged me through the house. 

"Daisy, doll, what's the matter? How's-" Tom cut himself off, narrowing his eyes ever-so-slightly at me, the way he did when he first figured out I was- well, wasn't like him. My breath hitched and my heart leaped into my throat. One of Tom's only talents was picking up on either Daisy or mine's heats before it even hit us hard. Jordan, if she noticed, bless her, made no move. Daisy knew that Tom noticed, and she ushered me to the door faster. Tom was terrible at being faithful, so why Daisy stayed with him I'll never know, but although he'd never made a move on me, Daisy had never allowed Tom near me during my heats, just in case. 

"Nicky has to go home now." It seemed to click with Jordan, and she stood.

"I'll take him." She seemed determined, and although a small flash of fear rushed through me at the thought of an Alpha escorting me the distance all the way home, Daisy nodded. She handed me off to Jordan as though we'd all been friends for years, which I suppose they had, and Jordan made a point of not doing any more than touching my elbow, guiding me outside and to a car. Apparently she had her own, and she helped me in. I felt dizzy still, but less so now that I was away from the awful stink of Tom. She drove in silence, keeping the radio off. I leaned against the window and watched the scenery go by. 

I barely made it to my front door before I collapsed.

-

My week passed as uneventfully as it possibly could, with the blinds drawn and the doors locked. If anyone called, I never answered it. The last day, for whatever reason, seemed to pass quickly, and that evening I received an invitation from a kind enough looking butler. He informed me that Mr Gatsby wished to see me at his party that weekend. I'd accepted and told him I'd be there. The butler had given no second thought to the fact that I was dressed in nothing but a robe, had merely nodded before walking back down my driveway. I glanced down at the invitation. It was signed by the man himself, in beautiful script that suggested years of training sloppy handwriting out, 'Jay Gatsby'. Jay, a lovely name. In some clouded moment of judgement, I held the card up to try and get an idea of his scent through the paper, as though that would tell me the kind of person he was, as though that wasn't a ridiculous idea, as though that was something a normal person did. I almost expected it to be sickening, like Tom, or overly pleasant, like Jordan, but somehow it was right in the middle, a perfect medium. It seemed that my heat had not passed, after all.

-

Jay Gatsby's house seemed to be a very popular place, and I wove my way through the crowd, locating a butler and flashing my invitation. He gave me no second look, and I was pushed into the house with everyone else. I was drowning in a sea of people, and somehow I'd made it to the back lawn with everyone else. People danced, swam, drank, and laughed. The music was loud, it had to be to be heard over the roar of the crowd. I found that I didn't recognize anyone, and was upset with myself for thinking that I would. I'd just moved, and knew a grand total of three people. A hand touched my elbow, soft and gentle, but insistent. I turned and was met with the smiling face of Jordan, who seemed to pleased to have found me here. I was grateful for a friendly face and a friendly scent, because with everyone drinking and kissing and whatnot, it seemed they had no control over themselves, which I found not only irritating, but mildly disorienting. Daisy had always teased me for being overly sensitive to things like that, especially when she could barely understand when I told her Tom stunk, and part of me wished she was here to tease me now. Jordan seemed to anticipate my question, because she gave me a sympathetic smile.

"She's not here. Omegas don't usually come. I was surprised to see you, actually!" Her face broke into a grin, as though I were some wild person, so unlike my cousin, content in her home life. I shook my head rapidly and held up the signed card.

"I- I was invited, actually." Jordan adopted a face like she'd been slapped by a lifelong friend, but it was gone as quickly as it came. "Have you seen him? Mr Gatsby?" Jordan pulled that same odd face, but she shook her head. She said something, but someone bumped into me and spilled a drink, and I pulled away from her too quickly to hear it. A butler noticed and reacted before I could, by my side and leading me in. I wondered if the parties were always like this, people spilling drinks and butlers leading people inside to help dry them off, or if somehow I was special before ever even meeting my host. Jordan seemed mildly upset at this, but she made no move to stop me from being pulled away. I was led into a back room, an unoccupied one, and I was immediately refreshed by the same tantalizing scent I'd pressed to my face only days ago. The butler handed me a towel and looked me over, quietly asked my measurements and took his leave, returning shortly with a nice shirt that looked like it would fit me nicely. Upon trying it on, I found that it smelled only of laundry detergent, and for that I was grateful, because the butler had taken my own shirt, and I wasn't sure if I could carry that scent with me all night. 

The butler had waited outside, apparently, because he intercepted me as I walked off. He asked me in a soft voice to follow him, and because I could think of nothing better going on in the heat of the party, I did. He took me to an elevator, with which I was impressed, because I had never thought a house could be so big it needed an elevator. We rode up in silence, partially because I could think of nothing to say, and partially because I could not decide whether or not that would be appropriate to strike up a conversation with the butler. The elevator doors opened, and the butler gestured to the door at the end of the hall, but made no move to escort me. I stepped out and turned to look at him.

"What am I-" But he didn't hear my question fully, because the doors closed. I didn't like the idea of not knowing who was behind that door, especially when I had somehow found myself as the only Omega at a party full of people who would willingly fuck me senseless, and definitely knowing some would not ask first. However, I less liked the idea of being in the hallway alone, so I made my way to the door, and I knocked. A voice approved my entrance, and so I opened the door slowly. This room smelled stronger than any of the rest, and at the window, half turned to me, holding a drink and watching the party below like some silent god, was a gorgeous young man. He turned to me, his face breaking out into a grand smile.

"Hello, old sport," he greeted, "the name's Gatsby, Jay Gatsby."


	2. A Fateful Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick meets Jay Gatsby, a man as mysterious as he is seemingly great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so in this chapter a lot of stuff goes down for Nick, and I just wanted to give a warning just in case it upsets any of y'all:  
> Nick has a panic attack this chapter. Idk if it's the same for everyone, but I wrote his anxiety and sensitivity to things the same way they work for me, so if they're different for you, that's why. 
> 
> Also- if I'm being honest, this is my first omgegaverse fic, but I'd imagine that their scents would have to be things that humans would find gross or attractive, so I gave them scents according to personality, which I described in the end notes.

"Hello, old sport," he greeted, "the name's Gatsby, Jay Gatsby."

So this is him? He looks... kind. The way he smiles makes me feel like I can trust him. He has one of those sincere smiles that makes you immediately feel safe, like he wouldn't harm me at all.I relax without giving it much thought. He starts towards me, drink in hand, and my guard is back up all too slow. I step back moments before he reaches me and he freezes his path. His eyes widen slightly in surprise, as though he expected his smile and grace to disarm me permanently, but the expression is gone from his face as soon as it came.

"My apologies, old sport!" Gatsby's face breaks out into another near-contagious grin as he holds up a hand in surrender. "I didn't mean to startle you, only wanted to shake your hand, is all." I watch his face, marking every move he makes as he tries to make me more comfortable in his presence. For all his volume, he does seem friendly, and polite enough not to make any sort of moves. I extend a hand to him. He takes it in his own almost immediately, and I find myself overwhelmed by the warmth of his palm.

"Nick Carraway, Mr. Gatsby." I feel like an idiot as soon as the words pass my lips. He invited me, surely he knows my name already. He smiles anyway, and I scramble for anything to say as I drop his hand. "It's a lovely party, sir." I wonder if I'm being too formal for the situation, since Gatsby has been casual throughout, but it never hurts to be polite and use your manners, especially around unfamiliar Alphas.

"Oh, come now," Gatsby laughs, shaking his head and refilling his glass, "there's no need for such formalities, is there? We're neighbors, aren't we? Equals." He offers me a half-full glass of something. He seems nice, but still, I didn't see him pour it, so I decline. He's chatting to me and offering me drinks as though he truly believes we're equals, even though I always believed it was obvious I'm lower than nearly everyone else.

"I- I appreciate it, s- Gatsby, but..." I think carefully on my next words, turning them over in my head a few times like pebbles in a river. "I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on that." Gatsby gives me a look as though I've said something mildly amusing. He sips his drink and moves back to his place by the window. He's silent just long enough that I begin to worry I've misspoken, that I've stepped out of line by disagreeing even just a little, so much so that I take another half step back without thinking on it.

"You mean because you're an Omega." I tense at Gatsby's words, ready to run, but not sure of much else I could do. But he surprises me yet again, shooting me another smile that practically melts me over his shoulder. "Did you think I didn't know? I could practically smell you from next door, Nick." I almost ask how he could have possibly done so, and then horror dawns on me that perhaps he, like me, is overly-sensitive to scent, and that he's been smelling me all last week, and then I realize that he was joking, and that I am a bigger fool than I thought. "Relax, Nick. My interests are elsewhere. However..." Gatsby is by my side faster than I could have run, but the scent of him and the heat from him being so close, I doubt I could have if I wanted to. "Your scent is... familiar. Like I've met you before." He jerks away like it's too much for him, but the vulnerability leaves him before I can think too much of it. "Apologies, old sport. Go on, enjoy the party." He moves back to the window, and just like that, the experience is over.

-

Jordan seems more than happy to see me back at the party, and she looks me over once I return. I give her an odd look.

"What? Have I spilled something else on me?" Jordan shakes her head and sips her drink.

"No," she says, "but Daisy told me to keep an eye on you, and you came back smelling like the Alpha of the house." She shakes her head again. "But it's his shirt, so I don't know what I expected." I start to explain to her that it's not that I'm in his shirt, but that I just spent time being far too close to Gatsby, but I realize that that would probably only worry Daisy once she heard, especially with all the rumors floating about the party about Gatsby. I wish I'd thought enough to ask him if any of them were true, but I suppose it slipped my mind when he got close like that. I almost get to ask Jordan if she knows if any of them are true, but I don't get the chance before she's whisked away by the butler, and I'm left alone in this huge house, surrounded by a swarm of people I'm entirely unfamiliar with, and far too many Alphas with wandering eyes and hands for me to be comfortable. I have half a mind to leave, but I'm unsure which direction the front door is in this mess. A waiter offers me a glass of champagne and I take it without stopping to even consider the consequences of getting drunk someplace like this. At least if I'm drunk, the panic can't set in as quickly.

I don't know how long Jordan is gone for, but the more I drink, the less I seem to care. A kind older gentleman offered me a drink a while back, although I can't be sure how many drinks ago that was. No matter how many he's offered me, I'm not comfortable at all with where his hands are placed on my hips, and even if I wasn't worried about causing a scene, he's managed to put us somewhere where my only escape routes are blocked by a wall of concrete or a wall of people. He's far too close, and I can practically taste the whiskey on his breath, but all I can do is turn my head away, press myself against the wall further, and hope that someone comes to my aid. Of course, it seems that no one will, so by the time I feel his drunken breath on my neck, I close my eyes and brace myself. As much as I hate giving into things, there's not much one can do when they're overwhelmed by scents and so drunk the world looks bleary.

"Just what do you think you're doing with my mate?" A voice comes to my rescue, a female one, accompanied by a thankfully familiar smell. Jordan pulls Handsy away, one hand on her hip and one reaching for me to pull me close. I have no idea what her idea is to get me out of this, but I'm more than interested if it means I'll be left alone. I haven't known Jordan long, but she's certainly much more familiar than whoever this man is, and she's definitely safer. I find myself almost curling into her side, a position I despise the moment I realize I'm doing it and that others have turned to watch. A few cellphone lights flash and my face burns.

"Your mate?" The man is slurring his words, and as I blink tears from my eyes, I'm gifted by brief sobriety and wonder how I ever thought he was safe to accept a drink from. "This boy? He sports no mark!" I bristle at being called a boy, as though I am a foolish teenager and not a young man in his twenties, but Jordan's grip only tightens slightly.

"It's as you said," she remarks cooly, "he's simply a boy. I won't mark him when he's so young, I wouldn't want to ruin that pretty skin just yet." She pats my face the way one might a dog, and I'm sure my embarrassment only adds to her act. "Either way, I hope you won't be so stupid as to ignore an Alpha's scent next time." With that, she whisks me away, a few more flashes going off until she finds a secluded bathroom. Jordan sets to checking me over, her fingers barely touching me as she looks me over.

"Thank you, Jordan, I-" I cut myself off with what I'm sure is an undignified sound as Jordan presses her face into my neck. My face burns, but luckily my skin still feels cool where she's touched it. I don't have to question her reasoning, and I feel as though my words of thanks will never be enough. If she was looking to hook up with someone at this party, I've completely ruined her chances by being too weak to stand up for myself at all. I've never felt like such a nuisance, but here Jordan is, pressing her scent onto me as a favor like she's known me long enough it's casual, and here I am, fighting back tears and choking on everything I want to say.

As she pulls away, looking me over once more, that moment of sobriety I was once thankful for returns, and this time I wish it had stayed away, because with it, it brings crushing clarity of the events of the last few minutes, from me accepting far too many drinks from an unfamiliar smile, to the hands all too firm in their placement, to Jordan stepping in like some sort of goddess, and I feel it crush me into the ground, taking my breath and shoving it to the dirt beneath my feet. My legs tremble and the floor spins as I try to resurrect whatever breath was left in my lungs. It's like drowning, and I can barely see the worried look on Jordan's face through the surface of the water. My fingers feel numb as she pries them away from where they pick at my skin as though I wish to release the thousands of bugs that appear to have taken residence under my flesh. She only succeeds because my body gains just enough function to feel my fingernails digging into my skin and informs me of the small shocks of pain it's causing. I need to tell Jordan to take me home, to please drag me out of Gatsby's pool because I think I've fallen in, to please drag me home if she has to because suddenly I'm being crushed by a boulder of scents and social interaction, and if I don't leave soon, I'm almost sure I'll be sick.

Somehow, miraculously, Gatsby's butler seems to be everywhere at once, practically materializing as soon as Jordan opens the bathroom door, and before I know it, my arms are around the butler's shoulders and I'm being carried home as though I've just been married. The cool air is a shock, the breeze from the bay cooling my face and my frightened mind, and I feel the weight sink from my chest, and although it is not a pleasant feeling, I can breathe again, and am relieved to find that I can walk myself home. The butler follows me to my room and waits in the doorway until he deems me okay.

"Mr. Gatsby would like me to inform you that he has invited you over for use of his swimming pool tomorrow, and for lunch. Any time that works for you." The last sentence is not a question, but I know the butler expects a time, and I'm sure Gatsby does too, so I wrack my brain for the current time before finally just checking my phone. It's late, and I'll definitely need plenty of sleep and a shower in the morning before I'm ready to go anywhere.

"Eleven?" I have no idea what Gatsby does, and I have no idea when he's free, so asking me to set the time seems almost crazy to me, but the butler simply nods, and then he leaves without another word. I flop back, almost happily greeted by the tiny cloud of dust and lint that had gathered on my pillow. I thought it would take hours for me to sleep, but the moment my eyes close, I'm out.

-

I'm awoken sooner than I'd like to be by sunlight pouring in through my window, about five minutes before my alarm would have gone off, which is all made much more irritating by the headache thats pounds more viciously in my skull with every passing moment. I get up anyway, knowing it'll be even harder to get out of bed if I stay in and lounge around. My shower almost feels too hot, even though it's the same as it always is. I choose to blow dry my hair instead of letting it air dry, deciding that I could deal with the extra pound the whirr brought if it meant my hair dried faster.

Time must have been moving faster than I thought, or perhaps I was simply sluggish, but the knock on my door came before I had even put my swimsuit on. To my embarrassment, I answered the door dressed in only a towel, expecting to have to apologize to the butler, but instead I was greeted by both the beautiful scent and gorgeous face of Jay Gatsby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this is not as long as I wanted it to be.  
> ~  
> Someone commented on the last chapter that they felt like Tom smelled of old sweat, so I thought I'd let you guys know what they smelled like. I based their scents off of their personalities.
> 
> Tom- Old sweat and day-old laundry (Strong)  
> Daisy- Flowers and laundry detergent (Faint)  
> Jordan- Soap, sweat, and flowers (Strong)  
> Jay- Old Spice (Strong)  
> Nick- Soap, paper dust, and flowers (Mild)


	3. The Sun Is Brighter Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick doesn't know if he likes his neighbor or not, or why he's being so nice (or smells so good), but he knows one thing- he hates Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it takes so much braining to make the words go

To my embarrassment, I answered the door in just a towel, expecting to have to apologize to the butler, but instead I was greeted by both the beautiful scent and gorgeous face of Jay Gatsby. He was already dressed for swimming, and for a moment I wondered briefly if I was late. His smile faltered ever so slightly as his eyes raked over me and my face burned with an embarrassment I’ve never felt before. He recovered quickly, his face breaking back out into a smile and a laugh escaping his lips. My face burned hotter as I stepped aside to let him in, but he didn’t laugh long.

“Sorry, old sport,” he said, smile never breaking, “it’s just that no one has ever answered me in a towel.” I felt as though shame should still be coursing through me like an awful river, but something about Gatsby’s face made me think he had laughed in surprise, rather than at me.

“Right.” I could think of nothing to say. I’m an idiot in the face of beauty, truly. “I’m gonna go… get dressed…” I trailed off nervously, as though I needed Gatsby’s permission to do things in my own home, but if Gatsby noticed, he said nothing. Instead, he sat and looked around the room before pulling out his phone. I decided he would be fine on his own for a few moments, and so I made my way up to my room.

I found it a much harder task to get dressed than I thought. My swimsuit would just have to do (I’d only packed the one), but I felt bad about rejoining Gatsby shirtless, or rather, I felt that it was almost inappropriate somehow. I eventually settled on a shirt that Daisy had brought me back from a trip she’d gone on somewhere a while back. I hated to admit it, but I hadn’t grown at all since I was teenager, so some of my shirts were just that old. This one was, and it was so faded I couldn’t even tell where it was from. I pulled it on anyway, comforted by the soft fabric.

I rejoined Gatsby in the living room, and he shut off his phone and looked at me before I’d even announced myself. He had a funny look on his face like something I’d done confused him, though I can’t imagine what I would’ve done, and he dropped the expression quickly.

“I’m ready,” I said, but it seemed unnecessary. Gatsby nodded and tucked his phone back into his pocket. I followed him out the door, and he walked all the way down my driveway and the street instead of just cutting through my lawn into his backyard. His driveway seemed so empty and bare without the mass of people swarming up and down it, and his house was peaceful. He led me out back to the pool in silence, where chairs and towels and glasses of lemonade had been set out. Gatsby sat on a chair and kept his eyes on me as I carefully moved the towel off of my chair and onto a small table.

“About last night, old sport…” Gatsby trailed off and I turned my attention away from the towel. He looked almost concerned, although it was hard to tell. “Are you okay?” I turned back to the towel. I knew what he was asking about, and I knew what he was asking. Was I okay physically? Was I okay mentally? Emotionally, I wasn’t. Otherwise, of course. I decided my best course of action was to answer the question as though he’d asked something else entirely.

“Of course,” I answered as cheerfully as I could, hoping my smile was as reassuring as his. “I’ve been drunk before.” Gatsby shook his head, and my heart sank.

“That’s not what I’m asking, Nick, and you know it.” My body sank with my heart, right into my chair. I still didn’t really want to answer him, but something about his tone of voice and the fact that he’d actually said my name made me feel compelled to answer him, and to answer him truthfully.

“Yes, I- I’m fine. He didn’t do anything.” Of course he didn’t. Well, nothing I hadn’t invited openly simply from being there. I know that I should’ve been more careful, that I should always be careful, and that I should almost certainly exercise extraordinary caution around Gatsby. Gatsby sighed and stood. He pulled his shirt off and picked up a spray can of sunscreen and started spraying himself down.

“From what I heard, he did something. Miss Baker was quite harsh to me in her text messages this morning.” He grimaced, and I felt a small pang of fondness and gratitude for Jordan. “She told me I shouldn’t people like that in. She’s absolutely right, of course, but he was a rather large contributor to my company.” My heart sank lower than I thought humanly possible, and I wanted nothing more than to join it. Of course Gatsby was going to tell me there was nothing he could do. That’s how it always is, isn’t it? An Alpha stands up for other Alphas, not for Omegas they barely know.

Gatsby shook his head. “It’s disgusting,” he continued, “the way he thinks he can waltz in anywhere he likes and grope anyone he wants.” He pauses in his spraying for a moment. “I can’t say I’m sad to see him go. Get my back?” He hands me the can as though he didn’t just completely derail me. I look at it for a moment and then back up at him. “And it needs to be rubbed in, too, old sport. Thanks.” I stand and spray him, trying my best to focus on my task, but the scent of Gatsby was almost too strong. My hands shook.

“I-I- um, could you, please not do that?” I hoped my voice was steadier than it sounded. Gatsby turned and took the can from me, gently turning me and spraying me over. I thought for a moment he maybe hadn’t heard me, and I gathered the courage to ask again as his hands ghosted over my skin, burning me wherever he touched.

And then he answered me, low in my ear in a voice like silk, so close I felt his words sew themselves into my skin rather than hear them, “Stop what?” As innocent as a spring morning, but my face burned anyway. As much as I needed to, I found myself unable to pull away from him, and I wondered if he was actually holding me in place, but then his hands were gone, his heat and his words torn from my skin, and it left me with a shiver.

“My scent. Of course. Apologies.” Water splashed and when I turned, Gatsby had dived into the pool and was floating on his back with his eyes closed to the sky. I finished with my sunscreen, hands shaking the whole time, before I joined him, although I entered the pool in a more peaceful manner. I copied Gatsby and floated on my back, but I left my eyes open to the world.

The sky was a lovely shade of blue, one I absolutely adored. Not too deep and not too light, with just the right amount of clouds to break up the solid blue and the dazzling sunshine. Just the right shades of silver, too, different swirls and shapes, like monochrome paintings hung on a never ending wall of blue, or like the twirls of paint left in a rinsing glass from paintbrushes. I watched them, and in that moment I felt more peace than I had ever felt in my entire life; it was as though I too had joined the clouds, and each of my fingers were tendrils of twisting silver, dancing through the sky instead of tumbling through water.

I can’t say for certain how long I stayed there like that, or when I closed my eyes, but when I opened them again, my skin felt warm, soothed by the coolness of the pool water but warm nonetheless, and Gatsby was gone. I stood, or tried to, because I’d floated to the deeper end of the pool. I ended up just floating there with my head above the water, treading water as I looked around the pool for Gatsby. I’m ashamed to say that I ended up pulling myself out of the deep end with the same amount of grace a wet cat might, and just as Gatsby came outside as well.

“Ah!” He cried. It is worth noting here that I was still half in the pool, and that Gatsby made no move to assist me. “I see you’ve awoken. Quite the tan you have there.” I managed to pull myself out and to a standing position (again, with no help from Gatsby), and it is then that I looked at my exposed skin. It was borderline pink. I’d narrowly avoided sunburn, it seems. Gatsby, of course, was as golden as ever. He must have gone inside and left me to burn, or perhaps he didn’t want to wake me is all.

“Well now, old sport, let’s get you cleaned up and dressed.” Gatsby wrapped a towel around my shoulders as he spoke, his smile just as dazzling as the rest of him. As he led me inside and up the stairs, he spoke about the architecture of the house. I understand that he was either showing off or just very pleased or maybe trying to impress me, but all I could think on was that unlike the shirt I’d borrowed last night (it feels like ages ago), the towel smelled strongly of him, and I pondered briefly if it had come from his personal bathroom.

I was taken to a large bedroom with its own private bath. A set of folded clothes had been set on the bed, along with a fresh towel. Gatsby informed me that this was the bathroom I’d be using to shower and change, and I most certainly was not about to complain, even if it did feel a little too extravagant.

“There’s soaps and all in there, and I’ve gotten you some of my old clothes. I would have sent the butler to get some of yours, but I didn’t want to intrude into your home.” I almost told him that it was less a home and more a house, but Gatsby smiled and I was disarmed. “Well. You clean up and then we’ll go to lunch. We’re going into town by the way,” he said. “If that’s alright.” He left before I could protest that I had no money with me, so I locked the door behind him and looked around the room. It was nice, if not a little empty, so I decided to examine the clothes I’d been lent instead.

The shirt looked nice, if not slightly scratchy, but I found the material to be quite soft. He’d just given me jeans, and I breathed a sigh of relief that it wouldn’t be some overly fancy place. I thanked god that I’d worn just regular shoes over, because it seemed that Gatsby had none to lend me. I tried to ignore that I’d be given underwear as well, because he’d said ‘old clothes’, and I didn’t want to picture sharing such an intimate item of clothing with a man I barely knew. I set them down and ventured into the bathroom to shower.

I opted for cooler water to soothe my warm skin, scrubbing the pool scent off carefully so as not to injure myself. If I was being honest, it was the most pleasant shower I’d had in a while, and I reminded myself to ask Gatsby later what sort of soaps these were, although I dismissed the thought immediately; whatever soaps he used were probably out of my price range entirely. I got out of the shower, shaking both water and the soap thoughts out of my head. I dried (my god did the man have soft towels) and looked again at the clothes I’d been given. They must have been kept with Gatsby’s other clothes, or maybe he brought them here himself, because they smelled strongly of him. I almost missed the shirt I’d been given last night.

The shirt was almost too long but the jeans were fine, I thought. Again, I ignored the fact that the underwear was borrowed and not mine, although my face felt a little warmer than the rest of me. I left my room and found my way to the main room of the house, where Gatsby was on a sofa doing something on his phone. I glanced over his shoulder to see what he was doing, but he turned out to be playing Temple Run.

“I’m ready,” I announced. Gatsby did not answer, in favor of outrunning monkey demons. After a moment, he looked disappointed and clicked his phone off.

“Sorry,” he said, waving his phone pointedly, “business, you know. Can never seem to get a break.” I nodded thoughtfully.

“That’s just what happens when people monkey around,” I reply. Gatsby blinks several times before laughing. I grin, and my heart swells with pride that I made him laugh. He leads me out to the car, still chuckling softly to himself. The butler opens the door for us and Gatsby slides into the car first. I’ve never seen such a brightly colored vehicle, and I tell him so.

“Thank you,” he says. “It lets people know who I am, you know?” I nod. The ride is silent, with Gatsby messaging someone and me, playing Candy Crush and answering texts from Daisy, who heard from Tom who heard from a friend who heard from the friend’s wife who heard from a friend of Jordan’s that I was on some sort of date with someone, and I did not hesitate to correct her.

 **Daisy** : sooooo nicky???????? Who are u on a date with???????

 **Nick** : No one

 **Daisy** : A MYSTERY MAN!!!???

I rolled my eyes at Daisy’s enthusiasm, but I admit that I couldn’t fight back the smile that crept onto my face as I answered her.

 **Nick** : no. its just not a date is all.

 **Nick** : im with my neighbor. Mr Gatsby.

She didn’t answer me for several moments after that, and I wondered if I’d said something wrong. Surely Daisy isn’t upset that it’s not a date, is she? Or maybe she doesn’t like Gatsby?

 **Daisy** : Your neighbor? The Alpha?

I’d never seen Daisy use perfect punctuation in her texts, but now I know what her problem is. She’s… worried about me.

 **Daisy** : Nicky?

 **Nick** : yeah, sorry. Its fine, I don’t think hes gonna try anything, so you can relax, daisy. Im ok, promise

I proceeded to send her an unreasonable amount of memes, which seemed to convince her that I was okay. The car stopped, and the door opened. I must be getting extremely bad at keeping track of time. I got out (clumsily) and Gatsby slid out after me (full of grace). He led me inside the restaurant and down a set of steps into the basement dining room. It was dimly lit and people spoke not in hushed voices but loudly. I already felt awkward and out of place, and then Gatsby sat at a table where an older gentleman sits reading a book. He looks up when we sit and greets Gatsby in a friendly way before shaking my hand. It takes me an embarrassingly long to realize that this new man was of little threat to me; it seemed that he was a Beta, and I felt a rush of relief and being introduced to someone who was, well, average.

Gatsby engaged in some long-winded conversation with the man, which I ultimately tuned out, and then somehow I found myself alone with the man (who Gatsby had called Wolfsheim; certainly an odd name) and I had no clue of what I should say. Luckily, it seemed that he knew exactly what to say, and wasn’t going to hesitate to say it.

“So! You’re Gatsby’s mate, huh? Well, I didn’t think young men like you were quite his type- thought he favored the ladies, you see- but I guess if that’s what he-“ Wolfsheim continued like this for a while as my face burned and I struggled to think of anything coherent to say. He was speaking rather loudly, and a few of the closer tables had turned their attention to us. “-but how’s he handling your h-“

“Excuse me, sir!” I interrupted, far too loudly, I thought, and my face burned brighter than it had all day. “He’s not- we aren’t mates, you see,” I told him. It occurs to me that perhaps there are times and places to explain why you’re drenched in the scent of an Alpha without being mates, but if there is, it’s certainly not here.

“But-“ Wolfsheim blinks. “Your scent…?” He trails off into his question as though perhaps I’m the one who’s wrong here, and suddenly the day feels like too much. Waking up hung-over, answering the door in a towel, touching Gatsby but not really, being so close to him, wearing his clothes, and now this? It was too much of an unfamiliar thing, and while I was starting to like Gatsby, I didn’t like how overwhelming everything was, and I almost wish I had never accepted the invitation in the first place. It was then that I spotted what can barely be called a lifeline: Gatsby, coming back to the table, and behind him a little ways, Tom, having a drink and talking to a woman I didn’t recognize.

“Sorry, sir, I have to go.” I stood quickly, not entirely satisfied with my excuse, and managed to snatch Gatsby’s arm as I walked past and quickly brought him over to Tom, who noticed me immediately as though he’d been watching for someone he recognized.

“Nick! Is that you? Daisy told me you were out on a date, but she didn’t tell me you’d be here!” Tom laughed, a disgusting sound and one that I hope his daughter doesn’t inherit.

“Right, well, I didn’t know either,” I explain, hating that I feel the need to do so. “Oh, um, this-“ I pause. “It’s… not a date, actually. But, ah, this is Mr Gatsby. And this is Tom Buchanan.” Gatsby shook Tom’s hand, but he suddenly looked sick. I imagined it was Tom’s scent; it often made me feel as though I’d become sick as well. Gatsby excused himself quickly, a hand coming up over his mouth as he walked away, and I nearly laughed.

“Well, he’s a bit of an odd fellow!” Tom remarked, and never have I felt such hatred in his ridiculous language choices. “Well, Nick, I know you’re clearly busy,” he said, gesturing to my clothing. My face burned again for the millionth time. “But if you’re interested, I’d like to bring you to town tomorrow to meet my girl.” I didn’t know Tom had some mistress, but honestly? The news didn’t surprise me. I hated that he was doing this to Daisy, but there was no way I could possibly refuse. I could lie and say ‘not tomorrow’, that I was busy, but Tom would take me on a day I wasn’t or had forgotten to lie about, and even if I declined the offer, I’d still have to go. With Tom, anything he asked of me and Daisy wasn’t a question- it was a demand. Tom believed that as an Alpha, any decision he made immediately trumped one that an Omega had made. So instead of lying or protesting, I nodded, and I ate and drank whatever Tom gave me, and I hoped to God that Gatsby came back.

-

Gatsby never did come back, and Tom ended up bringing me home. He looked upset to do so, and something told me he’d gotten some kind of message from Daisy to do so. The car ride with Tom was dreadfully boring. It was silent, but it wasn’t the sort of comfortable silence I’d shared with Gatsby. Tom’s scent, luckily, wasn’t so bad, and I wondered briefly if that was due to Gatsby’s clothing, and I found myself slouching to better press the fabric to my face.

Tom brought me to his own house rather than mine, and if not for knowing Daisy was home I might have been more upset than I was. Daisy greeted me as soon as I got out, throwing her arms around me excitedly; almost pulling her hair out of the braid it was in.

“Oh, Nicky, how was your date?” She pulled back and looked at me. “What are you wear-“ Her face lit up. “Did it really go that well? Did he buy you these? Oh, you’re absolutely drenched in his scent, aren’t you? Oh, Nicky!” I let Daisy lead me inside before correcting her, but telling her that I’d just borrowed some of his clothes didn’t seem to calm her any. If anything, she got more excited. I finally decided to just let her be excited for now, and I told her that I was very tired from the day and would like to go home.

“Of course! I already ordered you an Uber because I knew Tom wouldn’t take you home, so it should be here any minute. I’m so happy for you, Nick!” She hugged me again, and then she began to ramble about how happy she was for me and to be safe and all sorts of relationship advice that I probably don’t need. My ride showed up pretty quickly, and the driver didn’t seem too interested in conversation, so I buried my face into the shirt fabric. It was unbelievably soft…

As much as I didn’t want to go into the city to meet Tom’s girl on the side, there was no getting out of it. I didn’t sleep well as a result, and by midnight I was so tired I thought I would pass out, but I still couldn’t get to sleep. I don’t remember getting out of bed, but I found myself in Gatsby’s shirt, and not a few moments later I was asleep.

I woke up to my alarm yet again, and even though I was still a little drowsy, I didn’t feel as tired as I thought I would have after getting hardly any sleep. I undressed the moment I realized I was still in Gatsby’s shirt. I started to get in the shower, but the sound of a car crunching up the driveway told me I didn’t have enough time, so instead I got dressed as fast as I could to greet Tom. He was alone, of course, but some part of me was still disappointed to see him without Daisy.

Truth be told, I paid little attention to the trip there, because the music in the car was loud, and I could still smell Gatsby on my skin. If Tom noticed when I got in the car, he hadn’t said anything yet.

His car was a convertible, and when we stopped at an empty stop sign, Tom put the top down. It was extremely sunny, and the thought of putting the top down had seemed unbearable to me. I was still slightly pink from the day before, I didn’t want to get sunburnt sitting in traffic. I started to ask Tom what he was thinking (politely, of course) but he answered before I got the chance.

“Honestly, Nick, did you spend the night with that man? You absolutely reek of him.” Tom sounded thoroughly disgusted with me, as though I were the one who smelled terrible. I almost pointed out to him that I would rather smell so strongly of Gatsby than smell Tom at all, but my shame won over my anger.

“No,” I answered, in a tone I would have preferred to be a little harsher. “I didn’t get the chance to shower, is all. You were earlier than I expected.” I wished I didn’t have to be polite to him. Even if he weren’t Daisy’s husband, I’d still have to be polite; social ranking is something that will never be on my side. However, I can be upset and disguise it as being flustered, something I’d grown very good at. “What would it matter if I did spend the night with him?” Tom shot me an almost angry look.

“Well I think that would be extremely inappropriate. You’ve only just met the man, haven’t you? And besides, you’re… well, you’re both men. What you really need is an Alpha like Jordan. If you can’t even take care of yourself at some silly party, the least you can do is take care of all the household things like a good Omega instead of making trouble for yourself.”

I flinched and turned my head away from him. Tom had never been a good person, and I wish I’d asked Daisy to make up some reason for me, but all that would be doing is causing trouble for more people. Tom may have been wrong about me needing to find a female Alpha, because the idea made me shudder, but maybe he was right. I’d managed to get a secretary job, but maybe I should just be focused on settling. It seemed that everyone agreed that an Omega belonged in the house, not the workplace, and maybe they were right. My phone took this silence in the car to bing, announcing a message. I looked down at it and felt my heart jump into my throat.

 **Jay** : Hey old sport! :) You left your shirt here, should I bring it over??

When did he get the time to put his… oh. While I’d been asleep in the pool, he must have put his contact in my phone. I should really put a passcode on it.

 **Nick** : actually im not home right now but if you want to put in on the porch you can

 **Nick** : thx

 **Jay** : No worries, old sport! I’ll simply wait for you to get home, and then you can come get it. Pardon my asking, but where are you? Perhaps I can just bring it to you there?

I felt more nervous than I had in a while. No way would I let Gatsby join us. Even if I’d never seen Tom hit anyone, something made me feel like I’d just be putting Gatsby and myself in danger, and besides, if Gatsby brought me my shirt, Tom would definitely think we’d spent the night together.

 **Nick** : no, ill come get it later

 **Nick** : Im in town with tom right now so its best if you just keep it with you

Those three dots popped up, flashed, and then disappeared a few times as though my phone wanted to purposefully stress me out. They were taunting me. Finally, I received an answer.

 **Jay** : Tom Buchanan? The Alpha? Do be careful, Nick, I like you and would like to spend more time with you.

I’m sure my heart stopped at the thought of him calling me by my name and not just ‘old sport’, whatever the fuck ‘old sport’ even means.

 **Jay** : If he does anything off, call me or message me. I don’t want to see you hurt, and any Alpha that would use his status against you doesn’t deserve to have it.

He stopped then, even when I thanked him. I almost couldn’t believe it, though, no matter how many times I read the text over and over. Did he really mean that? I’ve never seen anyone act like my decisions matter, instead of not at all or as a last thought. It makes me smile in spite of myself, and I’m so caught up in being grateful that I don’t notice the car stopping.

“We’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing my best


	4. Mistakes of New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick finds himself in a sticky situation, but Jay Gatsby is somehow always there when you need him- and maybe even when you don't.

“We’re here.”

I look up from my phone and out the window. We’ve stopped at some apartment building. Tom gets out, and I follow suit quickly; I don’t want to upset him further. Luckily, he says nothing more to me as he leads the way inside. Normally, I would have felt some sort of remorse about speaking so harshly to any Alpha, especially Tom, but something about today had me feeling more confident than I have a right to be.

The apartment we were going to was at the very top of the building, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in a slower elevator in my entire life. Tom stayed silent, although, to his credit, he didn’t look nearly as angry now. I let Tom get off the elevator first, since he knew where he was going, and I followed him closely down the hall to the apartment. He didn’t hold the door for me, just let it close, and I knew then that he was still upset with me, and I’d probably hear of it on the way home.

The apartment itself was much smaller than I’d expected, and on the couch in an incredibly short dress and holding a small dog was a woman who was the opposite of Daisy in every way. Where Daisy was small and pale, this woman was larger and tan. Daisy had a soft, but pleasant, scent, and this woman matched Tom almost exactly even though I could tell she was a Beta. My heart ached for Daisy, knowing that she was most certainly better than this woman, and that she didn’t deserve such a rotten husband. The woman leapt to her feet when she noticed Tom, the dog tossed to the floor and forgotten.

“Tom!” Her voice grated my ears. “Who’s this you’ve brought with you?” She’d turned her attention to me, her eyes raking over me in a way that made me incredibly uncomfortable and reminded me of far too many people from the dinner parties of my teen years. Tom sniffed, as though he’d rather forget I was there, even though he was the one who invited me.

“This is an old college associate of mine, Nick,” Tom told her, speaking carefully. I wondered if maybe he’d wanted to introduce me as Daisy’s cousin but then remembered this was someone he was cheating on Daisy with. I was almost insulted not to be called a friend, but Alphas don’t make a point of being friends with Omegas, and maybe not being ‘friends’ with Tom was a good thing. “You said you invited some people?” Tom seemed eager to move away from me, both in conversation and physically, as he led the woman back to the couch. “Not too many, right, Myrtle?” Finally, an awful name for awful Tom’s awful fling.

“No,” she answered, in that voice like a fork on glass, “just Catherine and the McKees from downstairs.” Tom nodded as though this pleased him. I didn’t understand why a small party had to be thrown just for Tom to be a terrible husband, but I never understood anything Tom did. I found a place in a small armchair and took my phone out of my pocket. Tom didn’t seem to care, and was perfectly content to continue talking with Myrtle as though he didn’t have a wife back home. Thinking about it upset me, so I turned my attention to my phone, just as it buzzed from a text message.

 **Jay** : You’re still okay, right?

My heart fluttered terribly at the idea that whatever Gatsby was doing, he was still thinking about and worried about me. I was so focused on the thought that I almost didn’t hear the knock on the door, and Myrtle’s grating voice announcing she’d answer it.

 **Nick** : yes, im alright. Theres no need to worry

 **Jay** : There’s always a need for worry when an Omega is unprotected around a rude Alpha.

 **Jay** : Especially if that Omega is one of my friends. :)

Ah, yes. There was my heart, once again trying to climb out of my body to read the text itself. I pressed down the swell of emotion in my chest long enough to glance at our new party guests: a woman holding onto a man’s arm, who I assumed were the McKees, and a woman who slightly resembled Myrtle but who I certainly found more attractive. The man, Mr. McKee, had obviously shaved for the occasion, and hastily too, because he had a small mark on his jaw from where he’d nicked himself. Neither of the McKees seemed very interesting, and both were just about as bland as Myrtle, and while Catherine seemed unique, she wasn’t exactly a large presence in the room either.

 **Nick** : its all betas except for tom and me

I had no real reason to keep Gatsby updated, but I felt the need to reassure him that I really would be quite alright. He didn’t answer me, but some part of me felt better knowing that I’d told him anyway. I put my phone in low power mode before clicking it off, since there was no way of knowing how long I’d be here; Tom had a phone charger with him, but he uses an Android while I don’t. I don’t want to ask any of the other people in the apartment, either. I wouldn’t want to bother anyone too much.

I faintly heard Tom introduce me to them, and then some comment from Mr. McKee with my name in it, but I was honestly more focused on the fact that I wasn’t receiving a text back from Gatsby, and then anger at myself for being so clingy when Gatsby was under no obligation to text me back. He did, however, a few minutes later when I’d finally given up on receiving a response.

 **Jay** : That’s good to hear, old sport! :) Still, if anything goes wrong, don’t hesitate to call me.

I found myself smiling in spite of myself at Gatsby’s emoticon use. I found it almost cute that he preferred to use the old style instead of just using emojis. Maybe I should introduce him to Daisy. She’d never had any trouble with emojis. I blinked, and suddenly a drink was being offered to me. It was Catherine, Myrtle’s sister. She had a kind, almost sympathetic smile.

“Overprotective mate?” She asked me, nodding at my phone. I glanced down at it, and then back up at her, and I shook my head so fast I was sure I looked crazy.

“Oh, no, it’s- um, it’s nothing like that. He’s not- I mean, we aren’t- I don’t have a mate,” I finished lamely. Am I just nervous around women in general? I must be, because surely otherwise my face wouldn’t be scorching hot. She laughed softly, nothing like the awful screeching laughter that came from Myrtle. She plopped down next to me, pressing me against the side of the chair. It seemed to me that we didn’t have to share the seat, there were plenty others, but I didn’t dare open my mouth out of fear I’d babble uselessly again.

“Hm. Okay. Sure. But explain to me- Nick, was it?- why you’re absolutely radiating some Alpha’s scent if you don’t have a mate. It’s not Tom’s scent, and he already told us you’re an Omega.” I felt my face decide to rival the sun’s heat, and I also felt the extreme need to leave the apartment. I pressed myself further into the seat instead, trying to give Catherine as much space as possible.

“We- we’re just friends,” I told her, trying to decide how I could possibly explain myself in this situation at all, and I wished I could comfortably get my phone out of my pocket. “I went over to swim yesterday and had to borrow his clothes, and I didn’t get the chance to shower this morning, so I- I guess I still smell like him, is all.” Catherine looked as though she didn’t believe me at all, but she said nothing, taking a sip of her drink instead. I took a careful sip of my own, although there was no way I wanted to find myself drunk; not in this apartment with Tom and four people I don’t even know. No way.

-

I did end up drinking quite a bit, I’m sad to say. After the events of Gatsby’s party, one would think I’d have learned my lesson, but I suppose not. Mr. McKee had been getting friendlier throughout the evening, and at some point, I wondered if I should leave. I didn’t, of course, because being drunk isn’t helpful to decision making skills.

Myrtle and Tom got into some fight once the sun had set, and whatever it was about- I had been thoroughly engaged in watching the small dog chase its tail- Tom hit Myrtle. He hit her hard, and while I didn’t like her, I felt bad for her. She shrieked, and the sound startled me immensely. When I turned to look at her, I was unpleasantly greeted by the sight of blood gushing out of Myrtle’s face. Catherine and Mrs. McKee set about to cleaning her up, and Tom stalked into the kitchen. I felt a tug at my elbow. It was Mr. McKee, gesturing to the door.

“We should probably get out of here. I can show you some of my work if you’d like. I photograph.” I nodded against my better judgment and followed him to his apartment on the floor below. He had some of his art hanging around, and I had to say, he was a fairly decent photographer. He showed me around, pointing out the pictures he was most proud of. Some part of me wondered if he always had the house like this, and then I wondered briefly if Mrs. McKee still lived here. The latter thought was cut off, however, when I realized that Mr. McKee had led me into the bedroom. I felt a familiar pang in my chest that I would only later recognize as fear.

“Well,” he said, clapping his hands together. “No need for me to beat around the bush.” He kicked off his shoes, and that pang in my chest crawled its way into my throat. “You go on and, well, ah, take all that off, and I-“ He stopped in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt. “I will be right back.” He made his way into the attached bathroom, and my phone was in my hands and I was texting Gatsby before I’d even fully registered what I was doing.

 **Nick** : help me, jay

If I’m honest, I don’t know how I managed to remember the address of the apartment building, all I know is that somehow I had remembered. I couldn’t just stand there, either, because by the time Gatsby got here, it would surely be too late. I turned, and I made my way into the hallway, where I frantically pressed the down button on the elevator. I heard Mr. McKee’s call just as the elevator doors closed.

I didn’t let myself relax until I made it to the lobby of the building, and I probably would have still been shaking, but Gatsby was there, arguing with the girl at the desk, giving her a description of who I could only assume was me.

“No, no, he’s here, I’m sure of it. Look, you would have noticed him, he’s got brown hair and he smells like-“ He stopped describing me then and turned to look at me. I’ve never seen so much worry on one man’s face, but the sight was soon torn from me, because suddenly my face was pressed into the soft fabric of his shirt, and my hands were surely wrinkling it terribly. I didn’t know if I’d stepped into him or if he’d pulled me to him, but either way, his arms were strong around me as he led me to his car, his scent the first real comfort I’d had all day.

I don’t know if he spoke on the ride home, or if I did, but it felt like a blur. All I remember was the tight grip of his hand around mine. I don’t know who was keeping it there. I don’t know who was first to let go when he parked. I don’t know if I really couldn’t walk or if I’d just let Gatsby carry me inside, but the first thing I noticed when I was out of my daze was that I was sitting on a bed by myself, with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I was in another soft shirt and my underwear. I would have felt safer, but I was alone. I looked around, breathing in the strong scent of Gatsby and trying to figure out which room of the house this would have to be to smell so strongly of him.

I didn’t get to figure it out, not before Gatsby entered, looking as average as I’d ever seen him, in a t-shirt and sweatpants, but he still glowed golden, even through the worry carved into his features. He held a bowl with both hands. He sat in front of me, still looking worried, but somehow there was relief too.

“You finally woke up, old sport!” He said, cheery as ever. I wondered if he was ever really truly carefree. “The butler helped get you dressed. Or, well, undressed, I suppose. I brought soup, if you’re hungry.” I nodded. My mouth felt dry, and I started to ask for something, but then Gatsby was pressing a glass of water into my hands and guiding a straw to my mouth. I felt pathetic needing his help, but I couldn’t deny that it was comforting.

“Where…?” I managed after a few moments of slowly swallowing sips of water. Gatsby looked around as he set the glass down.

“It’s my room,” he told me, averting his eyes. “I- It was the first room I thought of. Sorry.” I nodded slowly, looking around and taking a moment to process this information. At the very least, the bed was soft.

“Can I have some soup?” Gatsby nodded, seemingly glad about the subject change. He handed me the bowl, and I settled it in my lap, but my hand shook so bad when I tried to get a bite that I spilled almost all of it back in the bowl. I set the spoon back down and stared a little sadly at the bowl. It smelled really good…

It tasted even better. I was a little surprised by that first bite, because my hands were still on the sides of the bowl, and somehow I’d missed Gatsby picking up the spoon. But I couldn’t miss how red his cheeks were.

“I- sorry. But you really should eat, old sport.” I murmured an agreement.

And so that’s how we sat. Silent, with Gatsby spoon-feeding me like a child, and me, holding tightly to the bowl. Somehow, I finished without doing anything too embarrassing. My face was burning in a shade to rival Gatsby’s.

“Are you okay?” He finally asked, long after the butler had come with more water and taken the empty bowl. “I thought maybe someone had…”

“No,” I answered him in the quietest voice I’ve used since moving to New York. “No, you got there in time.” Gatsby nodded, content with my answer. He sat there in silence for a few moments longer before he stood.

“I should let you get back to sleep.” He brushed off his pants. “I’ll just be in the next room over, alright? I’m leaving the door open in case- in case you need anything.” He gave me no chance to answer, no chance to protest over letting me have his bed or thanking him for everything, because he left. I curled under the blankets, pressing my face into one of the many pillows.

It occurred to me that maybe it was a mistake letting him so close to me, especially since I knew nothing about him, and we’re so different, but it was hard to push him out, especially when he was being so kind… I resolved to stop getting myself into trouble like this, and that I’d be gone straight away tomorrow. Well, maybe after breakfast.

-

I was woken by the butler, and while I was mildly disappointed that it wasn’t Gatsby himself, the butler was kind, and a relief to see. He waited while I got dressed in my clothes from yesterday, because I wasn’t sure I could handle borrowing anymore of Gatsby’s clothes. I followed the butler downstairs and onto the back porch, where Gatsby sat at a table in a collared shirt, sipping coffee and scrolling through his phone. I sat across from him and took a pancake from off of the stack and let the butler pour me a cup of coffee. Gatsby looked up from his phone.

“Good morning, old sport!” He took a sip from his coffee and watched me pour an atrocious amount of cream and sugar into my own cup with a look of amusement. “Are you feeling better?” I nodded, pushing down the blush that fought to take over my face. I chose to sip my coffee instead, pleased to find it to be a light brown color but also upset to know that Gatsby’s was probably a rich black. He nodded and set his cup down.

“Glad to hear it.” He stood and turned his attention back to his phone. “I have to go now, but feel free to stay.” He seemed engrossed in his phone, so I grabbed another pancake.

“Alright,” I told him, reaching for the syrup.

“I’ll see you later.”

And that’s when we froze. Without seemingly thinking about it, Gatsby had crossed to my side of the table. His hand was on my shoulder and his face was frozen centimeters above my head. He’d just pulled away from placing a soft kiss to the top of my head, and we’d both realized what he was doing all too late. He pulled away quickly, smoothing out his shirt and clearing his throat.

“Sorry,” he said, but something didn’t feel right about his apology. “The last time anyone ate breakfast with me it was my family. It’s a reflex,” he explained weakly, but I shook my head. I set my fork and the syrup bottle down.

“It’s okay.” I tried out my most reassuring smile, and some of the tension fell from Gatsby’s shoulders. “Just, um, just go to work. I have to get home so I can get to work soon too.” Gatsby nodded.

“Right. Ah, see you soon,” he said, smoothing his shirt again.

“Right. See you,” I answered back.

“I’m gonna go now.” I nodded.

“Goodbye then, Gatsby.” This was going on too long.

“Goodbye. And you can call me Jay, you know.” He shot me that dazzling smile again.

“Right. Goodbye.” Gatsby- Jay- nodded then, and he finally left. I felt myself relax, and my face burned hot. Did I really just say goodbye four times? I couldn’t believe it. I turned my attention back to my pancakes and found that they were delicious. I think I ate nearly the entire stack, and most of my shame was forgotten.

I managed to find my way back to Jay’s bedroom in the enormous house, and I got my phone off the nightstand. The butler escorted me to the front door. I thanked him for everything before I started my descent down the house’s front steps.

“You know,” the butler called, surprising me with his voice. I turned to face him and found a small smile upon his face. “They say that those who are the most nervous around you are the ones who like you the most.” He nodded slightly, and closed the doors behind him. I ended up staring at the carvings on the doors for far too long, as though they held the butler’s meaning in them. I didn’t understand what he meant, so I dismissed it as nothing but an odd thought and made my way home.

 

 **Jay:** _Come over again, old sport. I'd love to have you._ >Delete

 **Jay** : I hope you enjoyed my home. It's open should you ever need it again. :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this was so short. I'll try and make the next chapter longer, promise.


	5. A City of Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New York City may hold a lot of opportunities, but for Nick, it also holds regrets.

My days passed mostly uneventfully, turning from hours to days to weeks, and I did nothing more than sit at my desk and file things. I wanted to do more than just sort papers and fetch coffee and receive praise that made me feel far too small, but this was really the best thing I’d been offered, and the only job that actually had me doing any work.

It had been difficult to find work, especially since everyone seemed to hold some belief that Omegas either couldn’t do work or weren’t good at it or shouldn’t do work. I’d finally managed to land myself a job as some form of assistant, filing papers and cleaning up after the boss of some large company. To be fair, I probably couldn’t have gotten any better of a job, because most places had just wanted me to sit around in the office and ‘look cute’ all day, which was something that didn’t interest me at all. I had the feeling that my being an Omega was part of the reason I’d been hired, but at least they’d given me some form of work so that I wasn’t just sitting around feeling useless or used all day. Sure, there were still comments and praise I’d prefer not to receive, but I figured that getting them while dropping off coffee and running errands was better than getting them while I was doing nothing, and at least nobody had tried to touch me.

Daisy called frequently and often invited me out for lunch, offers which I only refused if I absolutely could not leave the office, and those were rare times. She was always offering to give me money, too, should I ever need it, but I told her that I was faring just fine with my work, to which she would joke that I should marry rich like she had and forget office work altogether, but I could see the longing in her eyes when I talked about the jobs I’d been given. I often wondered why Daisy didn’t go back to work, and I could never decide if it was the challenge from being a woman, from being an Omega, from both, or if it was just Tom, but whatever it was, she always denied wanting to work. I got the slightest feeling her mother might have something to do with it as well.

“Oh, Nicky, you know me! I’m just not fit for such work,” she’d say, and then she’d flip her hair back over her shoulder and change the subject. As of recently, her favorite topic, for whatever reason, was my neighbor.

“How’s Jay?” She asked me as I sat down to lunch. She hadn’t even asked me how my day was. “I heard that some companies have recently been having financial issues, and I wondered if Jay’s was too.” She seemed concerned, even though there hasn’t been any indication that Jay’s business was failing. I shrugged.

“I don’t know,” I told her truthfully, “I haven’t spoken to him in a while.” If I were being fully honest with her, I had been texting Jay. But I really didn’t know how his business was doing. I didn’t even really know what he did, actually, just that he was the CEO of some big company. I figured that if Daisy really cared that much about Jay’s business, she could Google it. Daisy rolled her eyes at me.

“Come on, Nicky,” she begged. “I know you haven’t been able to stay away from him.” She winked, and I hid my blush behind the menu. I shook my head once I set it down.

“Alright, fine, “ I admitted to her. I was never good at keeping secrets from her. “We’ve been texting, but-“ Daisy interrupted me with nothing less than a squeal. I kept going, trying to ignore the stares of other customers. “But I don’t usually ask about how his company is doing except to ask how his work day was, Daisy. It’s not something I usually think about when we’re talking.” This seemed to encourage another squeal from Daisy. I shook my head, trying to get any thoughts she had out of her head, but she was too far gone for anything I did to take any effect.

“What exactly do you talk about then, huh Nicky? Should I expect a cute little invitation in the mail soon?” Daisy was wrongfully excited but I suppose she had every right to be. I was going to be thirty soon, and I’d never dated a single person. For her, this would be very big news. Well, technically, me getting a boyfriend would be huge news to everyone.

“No, no, Daisy, it’s not like that, I-“ She cut me off, waving her hand as the waiter came over and took our orders. I’d gotten to lunch a little late, so I ordered something small. Daisy made a face, but there was really nothing I could do. I didn’t have the time to eat anything bigger.

The rest of lunch was spent with me hurriedly trying to eat and Daisy chattering off wedding ideas to me (she really was a little too excitable). She wouldn’t let me leave until she’d bought me enough pastries to last me the week. I thanked her and took them with me. I’d already gotten an Uber, and she pulled up quickly. I held my box of pastries in my lap as I opened a text from Jordan.

**Jordan:** Yo jay wants you to invite daisy over sometime for lunch so he can show off his house or something

**Jordan:** He’s too scared to do it himself ??? idk nick thank

Jay wanted me to what? Why would I invite Daisy over to my place if he wanted to show off his house? It didn’t make any sense to me at all. I didn’t have time to do much else other than text Jordan that I would if he wanted me to, but I didn’t get to ask any further detail.

I ended up leaving work with fewer pastries than I’d arrived with, and I still hadn’t eaten one. I managed to keep from eating one in the Uber I took home, and I ended up on Jay’s front steps somehow, and although I don’t quite remember making the decision to go to Jay’s, I found that I was actually okay with the situation. I knocked, and the door opened almost immediately. The butler greeted me with a smile.

“Mr. Gatsby is in the pool,” he informed me. He had quite the pleasant voice; I wondered why he didn’t speak more. I made my way out to the pool and was greeted by the lovely sight of Jay climbing out of the pool. I promptly took a seat on one of the chairs.

“Nick!” He greeted me with a large smile. “Good to see you, old sport. What brings you around?” He stood with one hand on his hip, the other drying his hair with a towel. My mouth was… very dry.

“Um, I brought pastries. There’s a lot so I thought you might want one,” I managed weakly. Goddammit, why was he so difficult to talk to? “Also,” I found myself saying, “I got a text from Jordan earlier today…?” Jay nodded and waved me inside. I followed him to a small sitting room, where the butler already somehow had two cups of coffee sitting on the small coffee table. He sat on a small couch, and I felt that sitting next to him would be too large an invasion of personal space, so I sat in the one across from him and set my box of pastries on the table. He took one and picked up one of the coffee cups, so I copied him in the hope that it would make me feel more comfortable. Jay took a careful bite of his pastry before speaking.

“So, old sport. You said you got a text from Jordan Baker?” I took a bite of my own pastry to avoid the subject for just a moment longer; I could pretend that I was just having coffee after work with someone I like- as a friend, of course. But one can only pretend so long.

“Yes,” I answered finally, “she said you wanted me to invite Daisy over for lunch or coffee or something?” Jay set his pastry down and leaned forward, nodding excitedly.

“That’s right, old sport,” he said, his face breaking out into that disarming smile, “I want you to invite me over, too. Just don’t tell her I’ll be there, is all.” I didn’t understand. Why did I have to be in the middle of all this? Besides, hearing Jay talk so excitedly about Daisy, my chest felt strangely tight with a feeling I couldn’t quite place. It was unlike the feeling I’d felt that evening in Mr. McKee’s bedroom, but it was still similar.

“I don’t understand, Jay. Why not just invite her over to your house if you want to see her that badly?” I’m afraid my tone of voice was not exactly the questioning one I’d meant it to be. I could only hope Jay didn’t take offense from it.

“No, no, she won’t come if I invite her. Because of Tom, you see? He’s too controlling.” My heart sank as I realized exactly why Jay wanted to see Daisy. He liked her, really liked her, enough that Tom was an issue. I looked down into my coffee as my brain slowly came to some God-awful conclusion. Daisy used to whisper to me about a handsome young Alpha, a soldier that she couldn’t wait for. An Alpha she would have much preferred to marry.

“Jay,” I started, my voice still soft as I continued to stare into my coffee as though willing it to fix this whole mess for me, “did you serve in the military for a little while?” He made some small noise as though I’d surprised him with the question. I didn’t dare meet his gaze; I could barely stand the feeling of his eyes burning into me.

“Yes. Why?” I shook my head and crammed the rest of my pastry in my mouth. I stood and set my coffee cup down; I don’t think I’d taken a single sip of coffee.

“I’m sorry, Jay. I- I have to go,” I explained. Jay looked mildly hurt and started to open his mouth to say something, but I may never know exactly what it is he wanted to say because I left before I could hear it. I walked down his drive faster than I ever had before, and by the time I reached my own house, my eyes were burning. I barely made it up to my room before the tears fell, burning hot trails down my cheeks, but I have no idea what I was even crying over. After all, I wasn’t hurt and I hadn’t lost anything. Had I?

-

I didn’t talk to Daisy for a while after that. I ignored her texts and calls, and I didn’t show up for lunch. I felt bad about ignoring her since I’d probably made her think she’d done something wrong when that wasn’t the case at all. Apparently, she’d actually done everything just right, since Jay seemed so desperate to see her. Speaking of Jay, I’d been completely ignoring him too. I didn’t even let myself open his texts. It felt awful, and every time he called or texted I got this sick feeling in my stomach like I’d been sobbing for hours.

In all honesty, I didn’t want to face that I’d just walked out on Jay like that, and some part of me didn’t want to invite Daisy over ever, although I couldn’t quite place a reason on that. Surely Daisy would be happier if I did it, and maybe I’d stop feeling that terrible tightness in my chest whenever I heard the music from one of Jay’s parties or saw his car pass by the house. The ache stopped hurting so much after about a week when Jay’s car didn’t slow as he passed; somehow that had made me feel worse, but again, I couldn’t explain my own feelings.

I suppose it would be more accurate to say I’d been avoiding everyone except the people I worked with and the Uber drivers I depended on to get me to and from work. I hadn’t, however, anticipated that my boss was actually constantly paying attention to me and would notice that something had been off with me for weeks.

“Nick,” he greeted me grimly as I came in with his coffee one morning. I’d worried I’d done something wrong; I’d worn pants that Daisy picked out because they ‘make my ass look great’ and I always tried to smile and be polite. I’d even gone so far as to make my voice just slightly higher, I was so scared of being fired, so hearing him say my name like that made me nervous. I sat in the chair across from him immediately as he stood.

“Has something been the matter? You’ve seemed upset recently, and it’s bringing some of our employees down,” he said, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. I dropped my gaze to the floor. I almost wanted to believe he was actually worried, but then he’d mentioned the other employees, and I realized I was not the priority here. I shook my head.

“No,” I told him, in the softest voice I had, “I’m alright. I’m sorry.” No way did I want to apologize, but I valued my job over my pride just enough to do so. He nodded and handed me a notepad and a pen.

“Good. I want you sitting in on a meeting today and taking notes for me. My usual secretary is out sick.” He rolled his eyes. “Stupid Omega biology.” I felt like I’d been slapped, but I laughed with him anyway. Again, I’d rather be made fun of and put down here than abused somewhere else.

I followed him into the room where the meeting would be held. A few other people were already there, but not many, so I assumed we were meeting with people from a different company. I worked for a company that had its hands in almost everything, from accounting to lawyers to anything else. I sat in a seat in the corner, already knowing that none of the empty seats were meant for me. A projection had been set up with the other company’s logo. I recognized it from somewhere but I couldn’t quite place it. The other company came in, but I didn’t get to see them at first because my boss had leaned over me, blocking my line of sight.

“Don’t you dare do anything to mess this up or embarrass me or this company. The CEO of that company is here, so if you fuck this up, you’ll be fired, got it, Omega?”

“Now, now,” a familiar voice broke through the haze of my mind, preventing a panic attack. It nearly brought on another one, though, because with that voice came a scent I’d desperately been trying to avoid. My boss stepped aside to look at the source of the voice. “We don’t make a habit of bullying Omegas, do we? If so, I’m afraid I’ll get my lawyers somewhere else.” I felt my heart sink as I stared at the CEO. He smiled, and my boss laughed nervously.

“Ah, no, of course not, Mr. Gatsby.” Jay smiled brighter at this answer and took his seat at the other end of the table. He shot me a small smile but said nothing to me, and I wondered if I should go back to calling him ‘Gatsby’.

My boss luckily made no more trouble for himself, but every once and a while, I found Jay glancing over at me. He said nothing, but it was clear who was really in charge- Jay’s scent was absolutely drowning everyone else’s out. I tried to ignore it, and instead, I tried to focus on writing down everything I heard since I couldn’t be sure what was really important and what’s not, but halfway through the meeting, my hands started to shake. I ignored it, focusing instead on steadying my hands, but the room felt so hot I could barely focus. I didn’t even realize I’d dropped my pen until it clattered on the floor and I felt everyone’s gaze on me. I noticed a few people stiffen, but everyone seemed hazy like I couldn’t focus my eyes on them. I found that one person stood out in absolute clarity as he practically leaped to his feet and knelt next to me. Jay touched my hand and pulled away.

“You’re absolutely burning up,” he said, his voice slightly shaky. No. No, not right now, any time but now. I thought maybe it was just some form of panic attack, but if Jay was affected enough that his voice shook at all, it had to be- no. No, I couldn’t be starting my heat in the middle of an important meeting, could I? I blinked, forcing myself to focus enough to bring up a mental calendar. If I had a calendar, today would have been circled in bright red. Dammit, I’m so fired. Jay’s voice broke through the fog in my mind.

“Nick?” His voice was soft. So soft… I reached out to him. If only he were closer…

“Jay…” My voice was weaker than I would have liked it to be, it lacked confidence like this. I was in Jay’s arms, bridal style, before I could think much about it.

“This meeting is over.” Jay started out with me in his arms and my boss protested wildly. “Yes, fine, I accept your deal,” he told him, almost angrily.

I didn’t really hear much after that; I found that being so close to Jay meant I could really smell him, and I pressed my face into his shirt until he set me in the seat next to him in the back of a car. It was Jay’s, it had to be to smell so strongly of him. I pressed as close to him as I possibly could with the seatbelt holding me back. He kept looking at me funny, but he didn’t shove me off or away, so I just kept pressing closer. Sometimes he’d move me back. I didn’t understand.

I remember nothing about being carried inside except for the warmth of Jay’s body and the strength of his arms, and suddenly I was in Jay’s bed again. I felt my heart soar as he leaned over me to unbutton my shirt. I moved up just enough, just enough to press our lips together. Jay stiffened for a moment, and I could taste his chapstick and the lingering taste of coffee, and then he was gone from me, his face red and his eyes confused.

“Now, see here old sport, I don’t want you getting the wrong-“

“Nick,” I corrected him, and I reached for him. Why was he always so far away from me? “Call me by my name, Jay.” He swallowed hard, and I watched the way his throat moved, and I thought about how much I wanted to taste that minty coffee taste again.

“Nick, we can’t.” He wouldn’t look at me. Why won’t he look at me? “It’s not- we’re friends, Nick. Don’t do this. Don’t make me do this.” I didn’t understand. Isn’t this what we were supposed to do? Isn’t this what everyone wanted me to do? I know it’s what _I_ wanted me to do. I reached for him and let out a whine. I watched him make the decision in his head, and my heart soared when he stepped towards me and started unbuttoning my shirt again. His hands shook and he swallowed again, and I found myself more interested in the taste of his skin. I pressed my face into his neck and occupy my mouth with kissing the patch of skin just above his shirt collar. Jay makes a small noise and leans into me a little, and his hands are pushing back the fabric off my shirt and pulling it off my body and his hands are hot but not nearly as hot as his breath on his neck and I can practically taste his want, and then-

And then his face is far from mine and he’s pulling off my shoes, my socks. His hands are shaky with the button of my pants, and every time he brushes against me I’m almost sure I could cum right there, but I won’t, because I want to feel him first. He pulls off the last of the offensive fabric and I definitely don’t miss where his gaze lingers, but I also don’t miss him locking the door after he makes a swift exit. Suddenly, I’m alone again, with nothing but Jay’s lingering scent and the slick running down my legs.

~

I’m embarrassed to say I don’t know what to do in this situation. I should, as an Alpha, but I haven’t the faintest idea of what to do with the Omega in my bed. I know that Nick is probably suffering, but even if I wanted to have sex with him- I think I might, but it’s probably just because he’s in heat and letting off all sorts of pheromones and whatnot- I wouldn’t let our first time be during his heat. I wouldn’t do that, because he most likely only wants me because I’m the nearest Alpha and it’s what his body says he wants.

I’d managed to get Nick’s phone off of him, and I find myself searching frantically through his contacts as I sit against the door. I finally pick one at random, praying that whoever answers can help me, and my breath catches in my throat when she answers.

“Nicky!” Is that… out of all the people my fingers could have called, I somehow picked Daisy Buchanan? She starts going on about things that would look good at Nick’s future wedding (who is he marrying…?) but I have to interrupt her.

“Sorry, actually, but this is Jay Gatsby. I was hoping you could help me with Nick? He’s gone into heat.” She’s silent for a long while and I almost think she’s hung up, but when she speaks again her voice is different. Instead of the light and airy tone she’d held before, her voice was now deadly serious.

“You haven’t touched him, have you?” I shake my head furiously, only to realize she can’t see me.

“No,” I tell her honestly, “I wouldn’t take advantage of him like that. I wouldn’t do that to any Omega.” Daisy seems pleased with this answer but asks me where I live anyway. I tell her my address, cursing myself that I won’t be able to show her the house the way I’d intended, but then Daisy makes a small noise of displeasure.

“Actually,” she says, “I’m better equipped to help him here. I’ll just kick Tom out for a week.” Daisy sighs, and I almost can’t believe what I’m hearing. “Just get him dressed and bring him over here. Don’t you touch him, though, or you’ll make the rest harder on him.” Daisy hangs up without a goodbye after giving me her address, and I send the butler to make sure the car is ready. I stand and hope that I can hold Nick off until I can get him to Daisy’s.

I open my bedroom door to find Nick pressing his face into one of my pillows, one hand wrapped around his cock and the fingers of the other working in and out of him, curling and spreading. I push down every single impure thought that comes into my mind, reminding myself that Nick is just my friend, not my mate, and that the slight arousal I felt as I watched him cum into his hand was just something I felt from being around an Omega in heat, not because I actually wanted to replace his fingers with my own.

“Nick,” I start carefully, willing the shake from my voice. He stops in his movements and shifts, sitting up to face me. He looks so hopeful, thinking that I’ve come back in to have sex with him, to ease the pain that he surely must be in.

“Jay…” His voice is much less shaky than I thought it would be. It’s soft and steady, and I know what he’s asking of me with that voice and those eyes, and if I didn’t know by that, I would certainly figure it out with the way he leans back and spreads his legs wide for me. I shake my head and find something for him to wear, some old clothes, and finally, I just decide to put him in a pair of sweatpants. He doesn’t seem happy with my decision, as he whines the second the fabric touches his skin. I can tell it won’t be easy to move him.

“I’m gonna take you somewhere better, Nick,” I tell him, my voice low, and this seems to convince him, because he lets me pick him up, and I feel sorry for him. I carry him to the car, and I try to ignore the fact that with the way I’m holding him, I continue to accidentally brush against his erection, but I can’t ignore how he shivers every time that I do. I manage to get him in the car with surprisingly little incident, although Nick insists on pressing up against me the whole ride to Daisy’s. I feel worse and worse for him as the ride goes on, and I wonder if I’ll ever get the stains out of those pants.

Daisy is waiting for us on the steps of her house, and she helps me get Nick inside. I let her and her butler get him to a room while I wait in the main sitting room of the house because I feel like I need a break from smelling Nick. I regret the decision almost immediately; the house reeks of Tom Buchanan. Daisy returns after several minutes, her hair tied back out of her face.

“He’ll be fine,” she tells me. “It’d be much better if he had a mate,” she says with a pointed look at me that I can’t quite figure out. “But for the moment the best I can really do for him is to give him something of yours, okay? So give me your shirt or something.” I blink at her. She can’t really expect me to strip half naked in her living room, can she? Apparently, she does, because she’s holding her hand out.

“Ah, do I have to?” I nearly wince. If there’s anything I could have said to make her not like me at this moment, it’s that. She looks highly inconvenienced.

“Yes. He doesn’t like Tom’s scent, and while I don’t know if he dislikes Jordan’s or not, he’s gay, so it doesn’t really matter.” Daisy is giving me a stare like she dares me to say anything negative about Nick, but I wouldn’t dream of it, so instead I just slowly unbutton my shirt and hand it to her. She seems unfazed by my partial nudity and folds the shirt over her arm. “If you could drop off a few other things, that’d be great. Your scent won’t last long.”

And with that, she was gone again, and the butler was showing me out. I sat in my car in silence, and it was only when I’d reached my bedroom again did I realize that I still had Nick’s phone.

~

“Jay brought, you, remember?” Daisy was holding a water bottle and had her other hand on my shoulder. I had been blinking sleep out of my eyes already, so I’m sure she made no note of the blink I made at this news.

“Jay brought me?” I asked her. She nodded and handed me the water bottle again, and I’d never been so grateful for water in all my life. I almost couldn’t believe it; I probably wouldn’t if I didn’t actually sort of remember it myself. Every memory about the last week was covered in a blurry, lusty haze, and most of it wasn’t pleasant. I pressed my mind to remember more and found myself immediately regretting it. I groaned and covered my face. Daisy rubbed my back soothingly.

“What’s wrong, Nicky? He didn’t do anything, I promise.” I shook my head and dropped my hands.

“No, that’s not it,” I told her, “I kissed him.” Daisy sucked in a quick breath. She took my hand, pulling me to my feet and into the bathroom.

“Oh, Nicky. I’m guessing it didn’t last long? I’m sorry.” She turned on the shower for me, and I reached for my phone out of instinct, but of course, I didn’t have it. “Oh,” Daisy said, realizing what I was looking for, “you didn’t have it. I just assumed that Jay kept it.” I groaned again. Daisy gave me a sympathetic shoulder pat before leaving, and I took the next hour to wash the all of the shame off of my body.

I ended up helping the maid strip the bed and wash and fold the sheets; it was the least I could do, even if my face burned the whole time. I let Daisy drive me home, and after I asked her over for lunch in about a week, I waved at her as she backed out of my driveway. I was only home long enough to change into my own clothing, and then I was walking back down my driveway and up Jay’s.

I knocked on his front door with shaky hands, and the butler opened it almost instantly. He led me into the room where I’d first met Jay. He stood at the window, staring at nothing, a drink in his hand. He looked tired, and he must have been because he noticed me only after I cleared my throat. He turned and his face was etched with worry and fatigue.

“Nick! You’re alright.” Jay set his drink down and crossed the room to clap a warm hand on my shoulder. “I was worried about you there for a moment.” My face burned hotter than it had when I’d helped Daisy’s maid. I gave him a small nod.

“Yeah, it- it’s natural, so I’m fine.” I shrugged. “Um, I actually was wondering if you-“

“Had your phone?” He cut me off quickly and went over to his desk. He came back and handed me a bag with my clothes in it and my phone. “I kept it charged and I had the maid wash your clothes for you so you’d have them for work when you were ready.” I thanked him and checked to see if anyone had tried to contact me all week, but the only missed call was from my boss. I listened to the voicemail he’d left and my heart sank to hear him yelling that I was fired. I shoved my phone into my pocket.

“I got fired,” I told Jay when he gave me a concerned look. This only seemed to worry him further until his face lit up a little.

“Well that’s alright,” he said, spreading his arms. “You can just stay here, and if you ever need money for anything, I’ll give it to you.” I shook my head, cursing the burn in my cheeks.

“I’m not gonna let you be my sugar daddy, Jay.” His face lit up in a bright and impressive red as he shook his head rapidly.

“No, that’s not- I just meant- I wasn’t offering that, I don’t think.” He looked incredibly flustered and I laughed.

“I’m joking. I- thank you, but I should stay in my house until at least next week. Daisy’s coming for lunch.” Jay paused before he broke out into a huge grin. He thanked me immensely, and I excused myself. If I was really gonna host Daisy next week, I needed to rest.

-

I had spent the last week resting, and I set an alarm on my phone using a heat tracking app so I’d never be caught dead in another awful situation like the one I’d been fired for.

Jay had sent people over to mow the lawn and to put flowers in the house, and while I knew that it was all for Daisy, I found myself wishing that even one petal was for me, which made me finally face the conclusion I’d been coming to all week: I had a crush on Jay Gatsby. It was certainly not the conclusion I needed to actually reach mere minutes before Daisy was supposed to show up, so I busied myself with making sandwiches. I didn’t even hear Jay come in.

“The place looks great, Nick. It’s all great.” I shrugged and glanced out the window at the downpour of rain.

“It’s storming something fierce, but sure,” I said. I kept making sandwiches, and Jay kept making small talk, and I wouldn’t have minded except he kept moving things around as he spoke, so I finally sent him into the living room to wait. I brought the sandwiches out on a plate a few minutes after four to find Jay pacing nervously and glancing at his phone.

“She isn’t coming, is she? She would have called if she wasn’t, right?” I sighed and set the sandwiches down.

“She’s coming, Jay. Just settle down, you’re making me nervous with all that pacing.” He sat down, and a few moments later I heard a car crunch up the driveway, and part of me had hoped she really wasn’t coming, but then came the knock on the door and that light airy voice floating through the door.

"Nicky! I made it!"


	6. There's a Line Between Toleration and Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay isn't in love with Nick. Nick doesn't even think Jay has a crush. But when Nick gets a boyfriend (no matter how short-lived the relationship was), Jay starts acting a little strangely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got a comment saying that another Alpha should take interest in Nick and Jay should get jealous. WELL that's a great idea so this is what I ended up with. btw I definitely don't think that Klipspringer is an Alpha but I'm too lazy and depressed to create an original character and besides did anyone actually like him in the first place? NO

“Nicky! I made it!”

Both of us stopped dead. Jay looked more stressed than he had in the past few days, which was really saying something. I urged him to sit and answered the door, only to be nearly knocked to the ground with the force of Daisy’s hug. She really was stronger than she looked.

“Oh, Nick, the house is beautiful! I didn’t expect so many flowers!” She pulled away from me then and gave me an odd look. “Have you been using a different soap lately?” I nearly swore. I really had been spending most of my time with Jay; it made sense that I smelled like him. It occurred to me then that the flowers were not just for decoration. I shrugged and led her into the living room, only to find it empty.

“Huh!” I shook my head. Had he really chickened out, just like that? I wondered what it was about Daisy, and if I’d ever have what it took to make Jay that nervous. I shook the thought from my head- it was obvious that Jay didn’t like me. Well, not like that, anyway. Not the way I wanted, not as a potential mate. He saw me as a friend, and nothing more, so helping him at least be friends with Daisy was truly the least I could do to make up for kissing him.

Daisy tugged me out of thoughts, chattering about the sandwiches and the house and all the flowers, and if she hadn’t, I would have missed the ringing of the doorbell. I answered the door, and Jay moved past me into the living room. He was incredibly damp from the rain, and I rushed to get him a towel. I joined him in the living room and dabbed at his face even as he spoke, making sure to quickly help him out of his coat so it could dry. I’ve never felt more as though I was fulfilling my biological role, and I somehow found it comfortable.

“Sorry, Nick, I didn’t realize you had company over.” A lie, of course, but Daisy seemed to believe it. She continued to glance at me as I helped Jay dry his hair. “Nice to see you again, Miss…?” He sat across from Daisy, completely ignoring me as I toweled off his hair and wiped the water and sweat from his neck as though I didn’t exist or as if the task was something he was used to.

“Daisy,” she told him, extending her hand. “You can just call me Daisy.” I was almost proud of her for not calling herself a Buchanan. Hell, I was proud. Jay shook her hand.

“Right,” he said with a nod, “Nick speaks of you often.” I love hearing him say my name, it’s so rare an event I almost wish I could keep Daisy around all the time because I know that it’s not for me that he’s doing it. Daisy shoots me a smile; she knows he’s lying,

“Does he now? Well, I suppose I should thank him for speaking so highly of me to such a handsome man.” She gives me a pointed look then. She knows what game she’s playing, and she knows exactly how to win it.

“Who said I spoke highly of you?” I set the towel down and sit next to her. “I could be telling him about how disorganized you are.” Daisy pouts at me. I can play her game too, especially because I know what the prize is. I feel almost bad calling Jay a prize, but in this game, he was what we were playing for. I know I’ll lose, he’s already interested in Daisy, but I also know that Daisy is bonded, and it can’t be undone. I feel Jay’s gaze shift from Daisy to me, and I know I won that round.

“I don’t think you know how to be rude, especially about me. Right, Jay?” Jay’s attention slips from me. She’s asked his opinion, and it’s then that I realize that for her, winning means that I get Jay, not her. Her game is good-natured, and my heart swells with affection for her as Jay’s face reddens slightly.

“I- I imagine that he could be, if he wanted. But… not about you, not about his own family. He’s too kind-hearted and sweet for that.” My face heats. _He thinks I’m sweet_. Daisy nods.

“Exactly my point,” she says, and then we all fall silent. The room grows heavy as none of us can figure out what to say, and if we do have a point to make, we don’t know how to word it. Jay stands quickly, and he knocks a lamp off the table in the process. It breaks, but it was nothing too expensive.

“Sorry,” he says, “I’ll have it replaced.” I know it’s not true, but I thank him anyway. We stay there for a few moments, the three of us together just staring at the broken pieces on the floor, and I almost feel as though something in me has broken also. I can’t place it, and I don’t get more time to think it over before Jay speaks again. “How about we stroll over to my house? I’ll show you around, Daisy, and you too, Nick.”

As we walk, I fall behind them, watching as Jay leans into Daisy and as Daisy leans away ever so slightly. It’d be difficult to miss, especially because whenever she leans away, she shoots me some sort of glance that I never have enough time to decipher. It occurs to me that perhaps I am simply not the best at reading people.

We finally reach the house, Daisy flitting ahead of us while Jay gushes to me about the architecture of the house. I wonder briefly who he’s really trying to impress. We get inside, and it’s Daisy’s turn to gush. She seems amazed by the house, spinning around in the empty hall and flopping on one of the plush chairs.

“Oh, Jay! It’s gorgeous!” I decide I’d be better off in the background, and I commit to spending the next few hours not interrupting and simply observing. It works well; neither Jay nor Daisy seem to pay much attention to me once they really get going through the house. They fill the rooms with their liveliness; Jay’s scent becoming stronger and almost overpowering. Jay leads Daisy into the dance hall, and I follow them, only to be greeted by another scent, weaker than Jay’s but definitely an Alpha. I wonder if Jay only surrounds himself with other Alphas, strength be damned.

“Ah, Klipspringer,” Jay gestures extravagantly to a tired looking man dragging himself out of a room. I’d heard that some people took residence in Jay’s home, but I’d never met them, not until now. He blinks sleep from his eyes and his gaze rakes over Jay and Daisy before settling on me. Something in him changes: his scent becomes stronger- not strong enough to overpower Jay’s, but enough that it could almost be seen as a challenge- and the sleep falls from his stature. He flattens and fixes his hair with one hand before crossing the room in several long strides. He’s much different from Jay, at least physically, but I find his appearance pleasant all the same. He holds a hand out to me first, and I suppose it’s because he smelled Tom on Daisy and figured that it would be safer to introduce himself to me first.

“Ewing Klipspringer. You can just call me Ewing, though, Mr.…?” I shake his hand eagerly.

“Carraway,” I answer with what’s nearly too much enthusiasm. “Nick Carraway. But just Nick is fine.” I stop myself before I babble like I did when I met Jordan. Ewing’s smile is kind and his scent and pleasant, and I genuinely feel much better. “Ewing is a nice-“

“Mr. Klipspringer can play the piano, can’t you, Ewing? Why don’t you play us something, yes?” Jay’s voice sounds almost tight. I glance at him, trying to figure out what’s the matter with him. Only when Ewing pulls his hand away to scratch his head do I realize I never let go.

“Now, Jay? I’m all out of practice, not to mention I was just trying to have a conversation,” Ewing answers. My heart almost soars that I’ve been put first today for once, even if it is just to get out of doing another task.

“The piano’s just been dusted,” Jay continues, acting as though he didn’t hear a single word. He waves his hand and Ewing sighs before trotting over. I follow him. It’s not like I have a partner to dance with, and besides, I’d rather watch Ewing play than watch Jay dance with Daisy. I stand at his shoulder while he looks the keys over. Ewing places his fingers before looking up at me.

“You’re not going to stand there are you?” He moves over and pats the spot on the bench next to him. “Here, sit, maybe you’ll learn something, even if I am out of practice.” I smile and take my seat next to him.

“Thank you,” I tell him. “That’s very kind of you.” Ewing shrugs and begins to play. I’m not sure what he’s playing, but every now and then he winces when he presses a key and I know he’s doing his best to remember the notes. His song finishes sooner than I admit I would I have liked, and Jay’s whisked Daisy off to another room. I sigh and start to follow them, but a hand on my knee stops me.

“You don’t have to follow him, you know. Just because she’s mated doesn’t mean he’ll ever stop.” I blink. Ewing moves his hands and takes my own. “Here, how about I teach you a song, something simple, okay?” I nod.

Playing the piano turns out to be a wonderful distraction from everything else going on, even if I’m no good at it. Ewing is patient with me, slowly teaching me just a few notes at a time. When I mess up and he laughs, it’s with me, not at me. I find myself smiling so hard my cheeks ache. I don’t know where Daisy and Jay have got off to, and I’m surprised to find that I don’t particularly care. I’m still, I don’t know, jealous, I suppose, of Daisy, but I’m much more content with the feeling of laughing at Ewing’s jokes and learning ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ on piano. I’m so caught up in laughing as we press random keys that I don’t notice how close his face is to mine until we stop laughing and just look at each other. I’ve never been in this sort of situation, not really, not willingly, with someone’s face so close to my own and the nagging feeling I should be doing more than just staring at him. Part of me hopes that neither of us moves any closer, hopes we don’t because being an Omega does not make me easy, and partly because I’m not entirely sure I’d like us to, whether or not I’m sure my heart’s so loud the butler can hear it from across the room.

“May I…?” And there it is. Ewing doesn’t finish his question; he doesn’t have to. I may not be the most observant, but I’m not stupid. I’m fully aware that he’s spent the last thirty minutes flirting, and I’m also aware that I didn’t hate it. In fact, I had a rather good time. So against what I’m sure is my better judgment, I nod. The smallest shake of my head and that’s all it takes, isn’t it? He brings his hand up to brush the hair out of my face before slowly cupping my cheek. He’s gentle, and he’s shaking. He’s nervous, but then again so am I. I wonder if perhaps it would simply be best for me to like Ewing instead of Jay. Certainly, I could change my mind; I haven’t fallen in love yet. I close my eyes (in all honesty I’ve only ever technically kissed Jay, and God knows that was a disaster) and hope that I haven’t made a mistake. Ewing’s lips have hardly touched mine before there’s the exaggerated clearing of a throat. I jerk back, shocked by the sound and assuming that the butler has taken issue, only to be met with the sight of Jay with an odd look on his face. Ewing’s hand hasn’t left my cheek and I cover it with my own. I can tell that he’s annoyed, and I can most certainly tell that Jay is too.

“Last I checked,” Jay said, “you were only teaching him to play piano, Klipspringer.” I start to stand, to apologize even though I’m not sure what for, but Ewing’s hand tightens around my own and I stay where I sit.

“And last I checked there’s no law or contract keeping me from kissing someone,” Ewing retorts. His scent grows ever so slightly stronger and I pray that some sort of fight doesn’t start. Jay narrows his eyes. I’ve never thought of Jay as someone scary, but I vaguely remember a party rumor, one that said Jay had killed a man. I don’t doubt it now, and I find myself pressed closer to Ewing as though he’d protect me somehow. Stupid Omega brain. He’s tense; he doesn’t want to start a fight.

“Maybe not, but I still don’t want to see it in my house.” Ewing gears up to retort, but Daisy’s voice cuts through their tension as easily as anything.

“Would you two stop fighting? Nicky isn’t your mate, Jay, he can kiss who he wants,” she says, coming to stand by my shoulder. Truly, I’m thankful to have her. Jay’s face turns a funny color as he turns away.

“Whatever. Let’s all have lunch now, yes?”

We all follow Jay to a smaller dining room in absolute silence. Jay sits at the end of the table. Daisy sits at the other end. I sit almost exactly in the middle and rather than take the seat across from me, Ewing sits next to me and squeezes my hand under the table before helping himself to the food the butler brought out. It’s comforting in a way, although I sincerely hope that the comfort I draw from Ewing comes from me genuinely feeling comfortable around him and not my ridiculous brain telling me to be comfortable. Jay remains silent throughout all of lunch, despite Daisy’s desperate attempts to make small talk. He pulls a face every time Ewing leans over to whisper some joke or flirtation in my ear. Daisy seems somewhat pleased when I laugh, and Jay looks upset for a moment before it’s overtaken by something else entirely. Tension grew in the room like an awful weed. Daisy set her glass down hard and I jumped.

“I should be off then. Tom will be wondering where I’ve gotten off to and I promised my daughter I’d teach her to be a princess today.” She was out the door and gone before any of us had the chance to say anything. My phone buzzed with a text message a moment later, but I felt it rude to answer it at the table. Jay set his napkin down and stared forlornly at his plate.

“How about I walk you home then, Nick?” He asked finally. I looked at him. He met my gaze intensely and Ewing tightened his grip on my hand. I nodded after a moment.

“Nick, before you go, could I get your number? I’d like to take you out sometime.” Ewing grabbed my attention back and I nodded again before giving it to him and agreeing to his date.

“He might be too busy,” Jay interjected. “What with work and all.” My eyes were back on Jay and I felt as though I was watching a tennis match. I started to protest that no, I didn’t have work, that I’d been fired, but I was interrupted by Ewing’s retort.

“Well he doesn’t work all the time, does he? That would just be-“

“No!” I finally interrupted the both of them and whatever weird game they were playing. I can speak for myself and I didn't appreciate being treated as though I wasn't in the room. “I’m not busy at all, actually, because I was just fired. You know that, Jay.” Jay’s face turned a bright red and Ewing grinned.

“I’ll see you next Saturday, then,” he said, and then he was gone, back to his room to do who knows what. I stood and smoothed out my shirt. Jay took me by the elbow and led me quickly out of the house and down the drive. I stumbled after him, truly doing my best to keep up with him, but he was a fast man and I spent most of my time indoors.

“Jay! Jay!” I called after him. “Slow down, Jay!” He only slowed when we reached my driveway, and when he reached my porch he turned abruptly and stared at me. He was very close to my face.

“Why would you do that?” He asked. I shook my head; I didn’t understand what he was asking me. “Klipspringer. Ewing Klipspringer,” he went on, “why did you kiss him?” I shook my head again quickly.

“W-well we were just playing piano and he was saying such nice things and I just-“ I stopped myself and looked away from him. “Because I like him.” I sounded like some rebellious teen defending their older partner. “Besides, you heard Daisy. You’re not my mate, what’s it matter to you?” Jay took a step back and I flinched, expecting him to yell, so hit me, to do anything except for what he did, which was let out a soft ‘oh’, before he bid me a good evening and left, bright hair shining in the afternoon sun.

-

I moved into Jay’s house the day after Daisy came over. Ewing was pleasantly surprised, and he kept me company while Jay worked. He had loads of funny stories and jokes, and his compliments were sweet and I appreciated them, even if I didn’t deserve them. He presented me with multiple opportunities to kiss him throughout the day, but I found myself to be too nervous to make a move at all, especially with the butler keeping watch over us. I felt as though Jay would know immediately if we did anything. If Ewing thought I was acting strangely, he said nothing of it.

Once Jay went to bed, of course, I felt differently on the subject, especially since Ewing had walked me to my room. The lights in the hall were dimmed and I was admittedly a little drowsy, so when his hand cupped my cheek and I heard his mumbled question of ‘can I kiss you,’ I wasn’t about to refuse, especially when he’d been so kind all day, so I nodded. This time, there was no clearing of Jay’s throat, there would be no arguments, and there was nothing to interrupt us at all. And maybe I did still like Jay, but I also liked the feeling of being kissed, and right now Jay wasn’t the person who was going to be kissing me. So when I closed my eyes and let myself be pulled closer to Ewing, I pretended to myself that I really did like him this much. I played it over in my mind, eventually leaving this house and living with Ewing. I thought about whether or not I could be a good domestic partner, if I could spend my days taking care of the household and the children. Probably not, the thought of children was nice but the thought of being pregnant was not (an awful part of me hoped I was sterile), and I had never been a very good cook.

I was far too focused on my daydreaming to really pay attention to the kiss, which is why I only snapped out of it when my back hit the wall. I suppose that even though I’d let my mind wander to places it shouldn’t have, my body had continued moving, going into autopilot, and up until now I had had no problem with Ewing kissing down my jaw and my throat, but now that I was actually paying attention, I was more than nervous; I was scared. I really only have the one move, and surely Jay was already asleep and would be of no help if it didn’t work. Ewing’s hands slid under my shirt and I pushed at his shoulders, firm enough to be a sign that I didn’t want him to be doing what he was doing. His hands didn’t stop, and his mouth was venturing further and further down my throat.

“W-wait,” I managed, hoping I could get my voice loud enough if I needed to and hoping even more that I wouldn’t have to. And I didn’t have to, because as soon as I spoke, Ewing stepped back from me and straightened his shirt. He looked almost embarrassed. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest and discovered a great interest in the floor.

“Right. Sorry,” Ewing apologized in a soft voice, “Goodnight, then.” He kissed my forehead and I mumbled a goodnight before I ducked into my room, locking the door firmly behind me.

My room had a private bathroom, and as I went in to shower I swore that I’d be more observant. I stopped at the mirror to see just how disheveled I was, and my heart nearly crawled up into my throat to jump out of my mouth when I saw the marks on my neck. I leaned in closer to really look at them and shoved my heart back down into my chest. Each was nothing but a small bruise, really. I breathed out a sigh of relief and then immediately felt like an idiot. I’d have to be truly stupid not to feel a bite mark, daydream be damned. I shook the feeling off and got in the shower. I went to bed that night dreaming about what they’d be like if Jay had given them to me.

-

My week passed fairly quickly. I mostly spent my time in Jay’s library reading or swimming or learning easy songs on the piano with Ewing, and every night Ewing walked me to my room and kissed me goodnight. On Saturday morning, he kissed me good morning as I left my room, catching me just outside the door.

“Good morning. Are you ready to go?” Ewing’s grin was big. I’d nearly forgotten that he’d actually asked me out, but I certainly hadn’t expected us to go out in the morning. I nodded instead of questioning him. He led me downstairs and out into the garage. He opened the door to one of Jay’s cars for me to get in.

“Is this really okay with Jay…?” I asked him. I didn’t want them to fight or for Ewing to get in trouble. He shrugged.

“Who knows? Let’s go then.” His grin was big. I decided I didn’t usually do a lot of things for myself and I should definitely take the chance to enjoy myself for once, so I got in the car. If I was going to do this, it only made sense that I should try and enjoy myself rather than be miserable.

It turned out that Ewing was not the best driver. He went a little too fast around corners and stopped a little too quickly, but I never really thought he’d crash, so maybe he was just very confident in his driving skills. When he finally parked, I almost laughed.

“IHOP?” His grin only grew. “If you’d wanted pancakes we could have eaten at home, you know.” Ewing shrugged and helped me out of the car.

“Sure, but they wouldn’t have been IHOP pancakes,” he answered. I supposed he was right and I followed him in. I had expected it to be crowded, but there was hardly anyone there at all; we were one out of five occupied tables in the whole restaurant. When the waitress came for our orders, I got an orange juice and Ewing ordered me a hot chocolate even though I told him that it was summer and it wasn’t necessary for him to go out of his way to do things for me.

“It’s hot out for hot chocolate, isn’t it?”

“Well, maybe,” he answered, “but we’re inside, so what does it matter?” He grinned and all I could really do was laugh. Jay was fun, sure, but Ewing was a different sort of fun that I hoped I could truly get used to. At the very least, I appreciated his unique sense of humor.

“So,” I said once our drinks had been brought and Ewing just got pancakes for the both of us, “is this your whole grand date?” I suppose it was a rather rude question, but even though I’d never been on a date, I was pretty sure they usually consisted of a little more than pancakes in the morning. At least, I hoped so. Luckily, he shook his head.

“No, no. Actually one of the high schools is performing this afternoon, so I’d thought I’d take you to see it. My cousin is it, actually. Emily.” I blinked. He was… taking me to a play that his family would be at? My face burned and I turned my attention to the water dripping down the side of my glass. Did that mean he wanted me to meet his cousin? Or any of his family? Honestly, I thought people only did that when things were going well and you thought you’d be with that person for a long while. We’d only known each other a week; did he really already like me that much?

“Your… family?” I managed. The more the idea rolled around in my head the more nervous I got. Was he going to ask me to be his mate? Part of me hoped not, and part of me knew it would certainly make a lot of things much easier for me.

“What? If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to, I just thought you’d like to meet them. I think they’d like you.” My face warmed and I resisted the urge to move the hair that had fallen in my eyes. I took a deep breath; anything I said could be heavily loaded.

“Why would you- what would make them like me?” I asked him, smoothing out my shirt as though I experience this sort of life dilemma on a daily basis.

“Well they’ve wanted me to find a mate for a long time, you see, ‘cause I’m getting kind of old, I’m in my thirties, and I think that they’d really approve of you.” My head spun. The sound of the waitress setting the plates down barely reached my ears. I’d only known him a week. It didn’t matter how much I liked kissing before I went to bed or how many small marks were left on my skin; the idea of meeting someone’s parents, especially someone that I could hardly call a boyfriend, made me nervous. The idea of becoming Ewing’s mate anytime soon made my stomach sink with a heavy feeling that I could relate only to a form of dread. It filled me with an interesting sort of anxiety, but I just nodded. All Omegas are supposed to find a mate, what did it matter how long I’d known him?

I ate my pancakes in silence. I couldn’t think of anything to say to him. I couldn’t decide if it would be worse if I told Ewing I wasn’t interested in that sort of thing or if I acted too excited about it. I worried about what he would say if I said I was opposed to the idea of mating with him, and I was more worried about the reason I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to say out loud that the reason was I didn’t want to was because of Jay. I felt like if I said it out loud it would become real, and that worried me most of all.

Luckily, Ewing didn’t seem to mind my silence and instead filled it with stories. I wasn’t listening to him, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t mention it. Instead, I was focused in my mind on how I could find a polite way out of the situation I’d found myself in. I wondered if it would be rude to talk to Jay once we got home. I decided it would be and tried to focus on Ewing’s story instead. It was some sort of ridiculous story about some time he’d fallen off of his kayak, and even though most of his stories all week had been fascinating, I couldn’t find it in myself to be interested. Instead, I just waited for both his story and breakfast to be over. He paid before I’d realized it; I only noticed when he stood and asked me if I was coming. I took his hand with a smile that I hoped didn’t look too forced and followed him out to the car.

We drove in silence and I began to get the feeling that I’d said something wrong. I wanted dearly to avoid the entire situation, but it’s not like I’d said it or even implied it, and it bothered me the whole car ride. Certainly, I had a right to be nervous, but I didn’t want to make Ewing feel bad, so I tried to make conversation. I asked him about his cousin and what his family was like. He offered only short sentences in return. I reached my hand across the center console to take his, and I was almost relieved when he didn’t pull away. Whatever I’d done, it hadn’t truly upset him too much. So when we pulled back into the garage at Jay’s house, one can only imagine my surprise.

“But aren’t we going to be late for the play now…?” I asked. Ewing only shook his head and gave my hand a small squeeze.

“No. It’s obvious I made you a little nervous, so you can stay home. It’s okay, you don’t have to come,” he told me. I started to protest, to argue that of course, I did, but he leaned over and kissed me; it was like he just wanted me to shut up, and I didn’t like it all. I pulled away from him and got out of the car.

“Have fun at your cousin’s play, Ewing.” I didn’t give him time to answer before I nearly slammed the door shut. What kind of nonsense was that? Telling me that he wanted to be my mate and then immediately backtracking all because I seemed a little nervous? The nerve! Not to mention that he’d practically only kissed me to shut me up.

He backed out of the garage again and I turned to head inside, only to find Jay standing in the doorway looking concerned. I’ve made some bad decisions in my life, and I’ve done some pretty embarrassing things. But with Jay standing there looking worried for me and with me being upset at Ewing, my heart swelled at the thought that he’d been thinking about me enough to be worried. I’m not ashamed of I what I did and I never will be, but I will admit that what made me happiest that whole day was the feeling of rushing forward to meet Jay only for him to step forward too. I crushed my face into his shoulder and clung to his shirt. Jay usually only gave off a confident air, but most of that was gone now; I was surrounded by a sense of worry and a form of care that I could probably loosely call love. It may not have been some sweeping confession or heartfelt kiss, but one of his hands was running through my hair and the other was firm on my lower back, and I felt safer then I had since I’d left my room. He didn’t have to say it for me to hear it; Jay Gatsby cared deeply about me, whether he knew it or not.

-

Jordan met up with me on Wednesday to have lunch. She brought me to an Olive Garden because I ‘seemed sad’ and ‘no one can be sad with those breadsticks.’ To be honest, no one can really argue with her there. However, something told me that someone had told her to take me out rather than just her being friendly because whenever I mentioned something of note, she’d text someone quickly under the table as though she thought I couldn’t see it.

“Daisy put you up to this, didn’t you?” I finally sighed. “You can tell me, you know.” Jordan shook her head and set her phone down.

“Actually,” she answered, leaning on her hands, “Gatsby put me up to it.” I stared at her for an unreasonably long time.

“Jay? What for?” For someone who spends most of my time reading books and being around Jay, I am not very good at coming to conclusions about him.

“He’s worried about you.” Jordan took a careful sip of her soda. “He’s worried about that guy you’re with.” I dropped my gaze to the table and swirled my finger around in the water around my glass.

“We broke up, actually,” I told her in a soft voice. “I thought he was moving too fast…” Jordan made a small noise like a snort. The waiter came by and Jordan ordered without glancing up from her phone. I shook my head and stuck with my breadsticks and my salad and soda, all because Jay was worried about me.

“He’s still worried about you. Wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Jordan set her phone down and I looked up at her. She watched me for a while and I felt almost nervous. Finally, she leaned back in her seat. “I think he likes you, Nick,” she finished. My face burned and I dropped my head. Jordan thinks that Jay… likes me? He’d been worried about me, he called on days he wasn’t working from home, and he stayed with me through breakfast not to mention that he tried to sit next to me during shared meals. I stood quickly and nearly knocked over my soda.

“Sorry, Jordan, I- I have to go,” I told her. She smiled at me and nodded. I’ve never been more grateful for her.

I opened my phone on my way out to the curb, getting an Uber and thanking whatever divine power there is that someone had just been dropped off a block away in an Uber. If my driver made any small talk, I didn’t respond to him. I just wanted to get to Jay’s house; I just wanted to get _home._ When we got there, Jay was walking up the front steps, briefcase in hand. I thanked my driver and jumped out, running up the driveway towards the steps.

“Jay!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really rushed and weird ??? Im so sorry


	7. New Love and Old Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick finds himself caught up in Jay, but will he remember something with the potential to ruin him entirely?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to give you gays for pride month so there you are sorry im a shitty updater and a shittier writer

“Jay!”

He paused in his ascent up the stairs and turned to me. I couldn’t possibly miss the way he grinned, or the way my heart sped up when he did. I nearly fell on the first stair, but it didn’t matter because Jay had already come to meet me, and then I was in his arms again and nothing else mattered at all. Here Jay was, pressing me to his chest while tears pricked at my eyes and threatened to fall, and here I was, clinging to him like a drowning man to air.

“You should be more careful, old sport,” he told me, his voice low and smooth, “you could have really gotten hurt.” I felt like he meant more than just the stairs, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because all that unpleasant business with Ewing was over, not to mention I hadn’t seen much of him at all recently, and here Jay was, and he was _worried about me_. It felt like some surreal dream come true. I pulled back from him, just far enough to tilt my head up to look at him.

“Let’s go out, Jay. Like a date,” I said. I felt almost like I was begging him. Jay blinked slowly and then he started to laugh. I’d never heard him laugh so hard. His entire body shook with the force of it. The dream started to crack and shatter. I was filled with the horrible sensation that I’d misunderstood Jordan or that she’d gotten it all wrong, and I was filled with so much doubt I thought I might cry or die or maybe both, and then the shame took over and then-

And then I was blessed with the taste of mint chapstick and coffee. It took longer than it should have before I realized what was happening, that Jay had kissed me. My shame washed away but the doubt stayed. It stayed even in the places on my face that were warm from Jay’s hands, and then he was gone.

“Sorry. I’ve never heard of an Omega with the confidence to ask an Alpha out for their first time,” he said, keeping one hand on my cheek and I leaned into that touch without giving it much thought. “But I guess I underestimated you, Nick.” My heart soared to hear my name fall from his lips with such tenderness. I thought back to when I’d gone into heat and kissed him without thinking, when he told me he didn’t think of me like that. I covered his hand with my own.

“What made you change your mind?” I asked him. My voice was soft, back to the tone it really is rather than the one I fight so hard to maintain, but for once I didn’t mind. Jay smiled and led me inside. It was frustrating to know that he wouldn’t tell me right away, but at the same time, I didn’t mind the wait.

“Your scent,” he finally answered as he sat us both down on the couch. His eyes never left me and for once my face was cool. “I recognized it, but… I couldn’t place it.” He leaned back in his seat and watched me fidget for a moment. “The first time I met Daisy, I could smell it, so I just thought that it was her scent. And I thought it was the most amazing thing I’d ever had the pleasure of being around. But then when she came over and we went off without you… something was different. I mean, she smelled like Tom,” he wrinkled his nose here, “but I could smell her underneath it, and it was nothing like that first time. And then we came back to you and Ewing and I could smell it again, and I realized it was you but you were with Ewing and besides, I thought I loved Daisy, and, well. It is quite a lot to process,” he finished. Not to me, it wasn’t. All he’d told me is he’d fallen in love with an Omega with a certain scent, because he loved it so much that he loved the person too, and all that told me was that Jay had loved me this whole time, only we’d both been too stupid to realize it. I took his hand and squeezed it, not because I thought it was difficult too, but because I understood what he was trying to say.

“Quite,” I answered softly. We sat there in silence for what felt like hours, just looking at each other and wondering how we could have missed something so obvious. The only witness to anything was the butler, who Jay instructed to leave the room and speak of nothing after a moment. My breath caught in my throat once we were truly alone. I was caught up in that unreal feeling again when Jay’s free hand cupped my cheek.

“Do you mind if we have dinner here? It’s not much of a first date, but I think we should keep you out of the spotlight for now.” Jay spoke in a gentle voice, so quiet it didn’t even echo in the large room. I’d never felt happier in my life, and I nodded. He was the head of a large and important company, if he wanted to keep me away from cameras or prying eyes, I wasn’t about to object. If anything, it thrilled me, because it made me feel like what he felt for me was truly special, like it was something that he didn’t want anybody else touching. He smiled. “I’ll let the chef know immediately. Why don’t you rest? You were up and about rather early this morning.” Jay stood and kissed my forehead before he left the room. I made my way up the stairs and paused in front of Jay’s bedroom. I wondered if I’d get to sleep in his room anytime soon. I shook the thought from my head and went to my own room to climb in bed.

-

I was awoken by Jay shaking me gently.

“Nick? Nick, it’s time for dinner,” he said, his voice gentle so as not to startle me. I sat up and stretched, the blankets falling off of me and pooling in my lap. I smiled when I remembered everything that had happened before I’d laid down for my nap. I looked at Jay to find him smiling at me, which was a pleasant surprise, but not nearly as nice as when he kissed me softly. “Sleep well?” He asked. I nodded and followed him downstairs into the dining room.

The dining room was set up gorgeously. For ‘not much of a first date,’ it looked incredible to me. I wondered how long I must have slept for all this to have been done. Jay had even gotten the big table moved out so we could sit at a two-person table. Along with all the food, different vegetables and potatoes and meats, I thought I’d surely passed away in my sleep and gone to heaven, because it was truly more than I’d even hoped for.

“Do you like it?” Jay asked me as he pulled out one of the chairs at the table. He didn’t sit and I realized that the chair was for me. I didn’t sit either, not right away, because I was too busy throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. He made a small noise of surprise when I did.

“Like it? Are you kidding? This is amazing,” I told him as I finally sat. Jay sat across from me, that gentle and beautiful smile gracing his features. The butler and another member of Jay’s staff brought us each a plate with a little bit of everything. I’d never eaten anything that looked or tasted so good, and I was grateful that Jay didn’t make any mention of how quickly I ate. Somehow he matched me, and we finished our meals at about the same time. He smiled at me from across the table as the staff cleared the table.

“Would you like dessert, Nick?” I thought the question held an obvious answer, who didn’t like dessert? I expected more plates to be brought out, but instead, Jay took my hand and led me out of the dining room.

“Where are we…?” I trailed off as Jay opened the door at the top of a smaller set of stairs. We were on the roof, and it was gorgeous. The sky was oddly and exceptionally clear. It was a sight I wasn’t quite used to, but I could see the stars. They were gorgeous. Jay led me to a blanket, and judging from the fact that it wasn't entirely smooth, I suspected he’d laid it out himself. We sat and the butler came out and handed Jay a pint of ice cream and two spoons before leaving us alone again. I raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“An entire pint, Jay?” I asked. He shrugged and opened it, handing me a spoon.

“It’s not like anyone else will be eating from it even if we don’t finish it,” he said, and I suppose he had a point, so I chose to lean my head on his shoulder and take small bites of ice cream. “I got Neapolitan because I wasn’t sure which flavor you preferred.”

“I like all three, honestly,” I told him with a shrug. Actually, I preferred strawberry, but Jay seemed to enjoy that one the most so I stuck to the other two. We sat like that for a while, Jay eating bites of strawberry and me, alternating between chocolate and vanilla and the occasional strawberry bite. After a while, he offered me a bite of strawberry and I looked at him.

“You seem to like the strawberry the most. You get this happy look on your face every time you take a bite.” I hadn’t realized he’d been paying so much attention to the way I looked eating my ice cream and my face heated. I ate the bite off of his spoon and the second I swallowed, Jay kissed me. I could still taste the chocolate and the vanilla, but now Jay tasted purely of strawberry. It was the sweetest kiss I’ve ever had, and it was over far too soon, as though Jay were nervous about overstepping his boundaries. I took the pint from him and set our spoons it, setting it aside and out of my way.

“What are you-“ I didn’t lay Jay finish, because this time, _I_ kissed _him._ He made a small noise of surprise in the back of his throat. I used one hand to support myself, but I tangled the other in Jay’s hair and it was just as soft as I’d hoped it would be. He seemed more confident knowing that since I was touching him, I probably wouldn’t mind him touching me. He pulled me closer and suddenly that other hand was free because I’d been pulled into Jay’s lap. I found myself to be quite comfortable there, with Jay’s hands on my waist and my arms around his neck. So that’s how we stayed until I could barely breathe and even then we only parted slightly. It had gotten windy and I shivered. Jay used it as an excuse to pull me closer to him. He was warm, and so _alive,_ and I’d never been so happy in all my life. He kissed me again, only this time he seemed entirely sure of what he was doing. His hands didn’t stay on my waist; they wandered, lifting my shirt at times to ghost across my skin and other times holding my hips still as I shifted in his lap. His mouth was more insistent, like he’d really figured out that I wasn’t fragile. I wasn’t about to keep my hands still either, not with his roaming everywhere they could reach. So I moved them from where they were tangled in his hair down his shoulders and chest before resting them on his stomach. He didn't feel quite as fit as I’d thought he’d be, but he wasn’t all soft either. He was a perfect medium, and I loved it. I didn’t time to dwell on it, because suddenly Jay learned that his mouth didn’t have to stay on my mine, and instead moved on, down my jawline and throat. I wasn’t nervous and if I’d thought kissing Ewing was good, then this was _amazing._ Jay sucked at the spot where my neck met my shoulder and a gasp fell from my lips. I felt Jay start to move away, to ask if I was alright, but I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. I wanted to feel it; I wanted to feel his words in my skin and taste them in his mouth. I loved his voice, but I wasn’t interested in hearing it. I gave him a small nod; let him go back to leaving small temporary marks on every available inch of skin. My breath hitched when he pushed my shirt up to expose my soft stomach. I shook my head only then.

“Jay,” I murmured, my voice softer than silk, “Jay, it’s too cold up here.” He nodded as though of course it were, and then he swept me to my feet and held me, bridal style and started back through the door and down the stairs. I laughed, high off of the feeling of being held, of being kissed, of being _loved_ by Jay. “Jay! Put me down! I can walk you know!” His face broke out into that contagious grin.

“Alright.” He let me go and I shrieked, expecting to drop to the floor, only to be met with soft sheets and a plush mattress. The room smelled strong of Jay and I recognized the decorations- he’d brought me to his bedroom. He got on the bed with me and the mattress dipped as he moved over me. I leaned up to kiss him, and I’d have done it again and again for hours if I could. Jay’s hands were warm and they slid up under my shirt and I leaned up into him, and then my shirt was gone and so was his and one hand was in his hair and the other was on his belt and-

And I stopped us. I stopped myself. I wasn’t easy, even if I cared about Jay to the point where I was edging around the word ‘love’. I wasn’t the kind of Omega to get swept up so easily just because some pretty Alpha finally took interest, and Jay seemed to understand that. He didn’t apologize, and I was glad for it as he lay down next to me. It wasn’t anything he’d done, it was a conclusion I’d reached on my own- that I didn’t want to have sex with him right away, and that was okay, no matter what anybody said or told me. I didn’t have to have sex with him yet, and Jay respected that, like he should. For that, I only liked him more. I curled up next to him, cuddling into his warmth as he wrapped an arm around me.

“Goodnight, Jay,” I murmured to him.

“Goodnight, Nick.”

-

I spent the morning laying in bed and listening to Jay talk about his past. I learned that he had actually been born into a poor family and that he’d worked his way up in life. He talked about how his parents had always done their best and how they’d absolutely marveled that two ordinary Betas had parented him, a talented and ambitious Alpha. He talked about the sorts of things he’d done to make himself rich, from his schedule to getting to know people who knew people. I listened to all of it, fully invested in his story up until his phone rang and he told me he had to leave.

“Work,” he apologized. I watched as he hurried around the room to find clothing and set it out before getting in the shower. He left the bathroom door open and I got the feeling that it was an invitation to join him, but I was nervous about what showering with Jay would imply, not to mention that he was hurrying to get to work. Instead, I chose to text both Daisy and Jordan and asked them to meet me for lunch and we settled on Panera. Jay came out of the shower then, a towel wrapped around his waist. I watched him get dressed.

“There’s clothes for you in the closet that I got a few days ago because I wasn’t sure if you would need them and um…” Jay’s face was tinged a nice pink. I smiled and held my arms out to him.

“Kiss me goodbye?” He smiled and kissed me softly. He pulled away and I started to tell him bye, but then he pressed his face into my neck, nosing along my jawline and throat before stopping with his cheek to mine.

“I’ll see you for dinner,” he whispered, and then he left. My breath returned to me. I still had to shower, but his scent on me was so strong that I doubted I could scrub it off. I got up and went into the bathroom, still shirtless from the night before. I hadn’t really looked at my reflection when I’d gotten up to pee earlier in the morning, but now that I looked at myself, my face burned a bright red. The majority of my skin was dotted with bright marks; just hickeys further up but mixed with the occasional bite mark closer to my hips. I ran my fingers over them and jolted slightly. Whatever Jay had done differently, these were nothing compared to Ewing and would probably take weeks to disappear. The thought excited me and I showered with cold water.

I did have clothes in my room, but Jay had spent all that money on clothes for me, and they already smelled like him, so I wore some of what he’d bought me, awed that the ones I’d picked fit me fine. Honestly, where does the man buy such soft shirts?

I practically bounced downstairs, ecstatic about how many of Jay’s countless hickeys were visible with the shirt on, not to mention my excitement at the thought of telling Daisy and Jordan that I’d finally found an Alpha I actually wanted to spend my life with. I was almost happy enough to write home. Almost. I made my way to the garage and found that Jay had left the chauffeur to drive me. I smiled at the kind thought and picked which car I’d most like to go to lunch with. Usually, I didn’t like things that were too flashy, but I was happy and felt as though I definitely had something to celebrate, so I picked Jay’s bright blue sports car and waved goodbye to the butler as we left.

Jordan and Daisy were waiting outside the Panera for me, and they were holding hands and laughing about something. Jordan kissed Daisy’s cheek as I got out. Daisy squealed the moment she saw me step out of the car and heads turned. The window rolled down and chauffeur leaned over.

“Mister Gatsby,” he said in a heavily accented voice, “I’ve been informed that the other Mister Gatsby will be picking you up this evening.” My face burned.

“U-um, my last name isn’t Gatsby…” I protested weakly, and Daisy giggled. The chauffeur winked.

“Not yet, sir,” he answered, and then he rolled up the window and drove away, leaving me, red-faced, with Daisy and Jordan. Daisy practically dragged me inside and could hardly keep still as we waited in line. Jordan held only a small smile, as though she knew exactly what I’d asked them to lunch to discuss, and something told me that she did. By the time we sat down, Daisy looked like she was ready to burst from excitement.

“Nicky!” She whined, “What was that all about?” I rolled my eyes and took a careful sip of my drink. I wasn’t used to being the one with news; every time I met Daisy with news over lunch, it was always her with the news. The news that she’s engaged, or where they went on their honeymoon, or that she was pregnant, or how her daughter was doing. It was never me with anything exciting to tell, and even if Daisy was reaching all sorts of wild guesses from the numerous marks on my neck and the fact that I was dripping with Jay’s scent, I loved the feeling.

“Well…” I started. Daisy huffed impatiently. “Jay and I… are together,” I said slowly. Daisy squealed and Jordan patted her hand.

“I knew it!” Daisy exclaimed loudly, turning heads. “I knew you two were perfect together! Oh, Nicky, I’m so happy for you! So, what’s he like in bed?” That managed to get a laugh out of Jordan, and I’m glad that one of us found it so hysterical, because my face was burning,

“N-no, it’s not like that!” I hissed at her across the table. “I don’t mean we’re together because we had sex last night and decided we should be together!” I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms. I felt like a toddler with the way I was pouting, but I didn’t like Daisy’s implications at all. “We- we had dinner and then we had ice cream on the roof and then we-“

“And you had sex on the roof!” Daisy was far too loud and now every pair of eyes in the restaurant was on me.

“No!” I said again. Daisy really couldn’t be stopped once she started. “No. I mean, we kissed a little and then we went to bed.”

“Looks to me like you did more than just kiss,” Daisy grumbled.

“So is he a good kisser?” Jordan asked. Daisy nodded and leaned forward and I could not believe that Jordan was egging her on. I groaned.

“I mean, _yes_ , of course he is, but I don’t see what that has to do with-“ Daisy squealed and clapped her hands together. Jordan looked amused. I didn’t understand what all the excitement was about.

“Oh, I bet your kids are gonna be so pretty Nicky! Oh and you and Jay can double date with Jordan and me, and-“ Daisy continued babbling on about how amazing my future is going to be. I shot a glance at Jordan and then at her and Daisy’s joined hands. It seemed that Tom was not the only one cheating. It made my mind wander and I wondered how they even managed that. I’d heard that being with anyone other than your mate (sexually, anyway) was painful. And then I wondered if I’d ever have to deal with cheating, and I hoped not. A very concerned looking server brought us our food, effectively silencing Daisy, at least for the moment.

“You know,” Jordan said after a few bites of her Panini, “I get it if you don’t want to have sex with him so soon, but you should probably do it before your heat.” My face warmed and I started to protest but Daisy hummed and nodded thoughtfully.

“She’s right, Nick. That way you know that he knows what he’s doing. I think he’s a virgin.” Jordan squeezed her hand and Daisy pouted.

“That’s not what I meant.” Jordan shot a pointed look at Daisy before she continued. “I meant that way your first time won’t be during your heat.” She took a decisive bite of Panini. “After all,” she continued, “I don’t think Jay would want it that way, but I definitely think he’d sleep with you during your heat. Going off of the wreck he was the last time you had one, I’d say he wouldn’t want you to be in any kind of pain, but I also think that you’d just be hurting him if you waited until you’re in a state where you want to fuck the first Alpha you see. He might think you don’t actually want him or something.” I thought about it as I ate my salad, taking small, slow bites so I could easily focus on Jordan’s words. Would he really think that? The idea of Jay being insecure seemed strange, but he was just human as any of the rest of us. I thought about when my next heat would be. I didn’t exactly want him to pick me up and immediately have him take us home so we could have sex, but I also didn’t want to wait too long either. I counted up the days in my head. I had a week and a half to find a good and appropriate opportunity to have sex with Jay before my heat started again. I had difficulty swallowing my last bite of salad.

“You’re right,” I said. Jordan nodded. I set my fork down and stared into the empty bowl. A week and a half felt like too much time and not enough all at the same time. My phone binged with a text and I glanced down at my phone.

 **Jay:** Hey Nick! :) Sorry to cut your lunch short but there’s a movie I’d like to see that starts in an hour and I wanted to know if you’d want to come with me? I don’t want you to if you don’t want to. :)

 **Nick:** Id love to go with you

 **Nick:** we’re at Panera

 **Jay:** I’ll see you soon! :) <3

I smiled at Jay’s cheesy emoticons and Daisy leaned over the table to try and look at my phone. I clicked it off and pulled back.

“What? What is it, what are you smiling at?” She asked, still leaning to try and see. I shook my head, determined to keep Daisy from reading my texts or even hearing about them. I’m not some teenage girl; I don’t need my cousin reading the messages from my boyfriend. Jordan snatched my phone from me and tossed it to Daisy, who squealed and opened it quickly even though I have a passcode on it. Her whole face lit up as she read, looking like a child on Christmas.

“He sent you a heart! Oh, that’s so cute!” Daisy exclaimed. Jordan grinned at me.

“You guys really are gonna have cute kids,” she said. I groaned. I could handle teasing from Daisy, but from Jordan, it was too much.

“Not you too,” I buried my face in my hands as Jordan laughed. Daisy giggled and slid my phone back to me across the table. I picked it up and found that Jay had texted me again.

 **Jay:** I’m here :)

I smiled and stood.

“Jay’s here,” I explained, “so I’ll see you guys later, okay?” I started to leave and Daisy quickly followed me out, dragging Jordan behind her. Jay stood outside, leaning against his black car, the one he used for work. He smiled big when he saw me, and my heart swelled when I realized that he didn’t even glance over at Daisy.

“What happened to ‘staying out of cameras’?” I asked him when he hugged me. Jay pulled away and shrugged.

“Doesn’t look to me like there’s anybody here,” he answered with a grin. “Nice to see you, Jordan. You too, Daisy. Ready Nick?” I nodded and he opened the door for me. I bid Daisy and Jordan goodbye and got into the car. Jay got in a moment later. I’d never ridden in his work car, but it was just as nice as the others. Jay held my hand as he drove, which meant more to me than he probably realized. He pulled up and parked in the farthest spot he could at the theater. He checked his watch before turning to me.

“We’ve still got about half an hour or so before it starts.” His grip on my hand tightened and so did my chest. I willed myself to calm down; a half hour isn’t enough time for us to have sex. At least, I didn’t think so, anyway. Even if it was, there’s no way I’d ever be willing for my first time to be in a car in a movie theater parking lot. “Do you want to go ahead so we can watch the previews?” The tightness in my chest melted away at his smile.

“Sure,” I agreed. I followed Jay inside, never letting go of his hand. I’d have to be blind to miss the stares of anyone and everyone that recognized Jay, which is to say everybody there. Jay had been on the cover of so many magazines due to his accomplishments as a businessman that it would be a challenge not to recognize him. I felt a surge of pride that I hadn’t expected; it was a feeling like I had won something. I suppose to say that I had won simply by becoming Jay’s boyfriend was every bit of exaggeration, but it still felt like the truth. Out of all the people in the world, _I_ was the one out on a date with Jay; _I_ was the one who would be going home with him tonight, and every night after. No, it wasn’t like I’d won- it was more like I’d been gifted something that I’d wanted my whole life. I felt blessed. Especially since Jay insisted on buying me a sweet and insisted further on sharing a drink with me.

I have to admit, I’d never been to the movies with anyone other than my family, but I found myself realizing that everything I’d heard about movie dates in high school was pretty true. I’d always assumed that nobody actually made out in the theaters, that it would distract from the movie entirely, but I actually quite enjoyed the feeling of sitting in the theater in the dark so closely to someone else. I liked the feeling of one of Jay’s hands holding my own and the other on my hip. I liked the feeling of being almost entirely on someone else’s lap, of Jay pulling me closer and closer and the feeling of giving myself to him in the lonely quietness of the very back row. Jay’s mouth was hot, and it searched over every available inch of skin I had to offer. For all his activity, he was set on keeping me quiet, so whenever his lips moved from my own, a hand came up to stifle any sound escaping my throat. By the time we left, my lips were surely bruised and I had no idea what the movie had even been about. I felt tired and loopy, but also like I was riding some strange high. I craved more of that feeling. If having sex with Jay would give me more of it, I’d be in his bed whenever he wanted me to be.

Once we stepped outside of the theater, however, I felt differently on the subject as fresh air hit my face. I realized just how caught up in Jay’s scent I’d been, and it scared me. I didn’t want to fall into some typical Omega role of utterly giving myself up to my Alpha- to Jay. I didn’t want to turn into Daisy; stuck in a relationship I can’t escape all because I’d been too willing to be submissive. As much as I wanted to fight those instincts and be useful in my relationship, I wondered if that was even possible for me. Would I really end up as something I didn’t want to be all because I couldn’t fight primitive instinct? God, I hoped not.

-

Somehow, as my heat grew closer, Jay’s nerves seemed to be skyrocketing, as were mine. I wondered if he’d really be like Jordan said, but as we reached nightfall on the last real day I had, it became clear that it was too late now. Of course, there was always the tiniest chance it wouldn’t come. I’d heard stories- fairytales, really- of Omegas who started in a relationship with an Alpha and then missed their heats. The idea was something like ‘fate’; if you found the person you were destined to be with, you wouldn’t go into heat. The idea was a bit silly, not to mention a little too childish for me, but I had to admit that the idea that I was destined to be with Jay was something that appealed to me. I also had to admit that the reality of that happening… well, the odds weren’t very high. Even if some child’s tale of ‘fated mates’ really were true, it probably wouldn’t be Jay and I. I craved the idea of waking up in my right mind, but I had to accept that it just wasn’t a possibility.

It turned out that I was right. I woke up feeling better than I usually would have, but the overwhelming feeling of being horny was still there, clinging to me and weighing on my mind like a thick fog. Jay had set the room up with bottles of water, towels, and shirts and jackets that he’d practically sewn his scent into. The water would be room temperature, but I knew I wouldn’t care when I really needed it. I turned what dwindling attention I had to the clothes that Jay had left me. I noticed that he’d done a few shirts that I’d mentioned he looked really good in, and I was grateful to him for providing me with the image of him in tight-fitting shirts, and I was even more grateful for the thought of him slowly taking them off. I’d seen him shirtless enough to know that I loved every inch of golden skin I’d seen, even if I hadn’t seen any of the important bits.

The scent of the room was overwhelmingly Jay, and having his clothing made it all the stronger. I don’t think I’d ever felt so in love with someone, and I was glad to know that I had no reason to feel at all guilty if I gasped Jay’s name into the sheets. I said his name so much that it almost didn’t feel real. I started to feel sleep wear on me as the sunlight filtering through the curtains started to fade, but I wasn’t done.

I rocked back hard on my fingers, the same way I’d done hundreds of times before, but somehow it didn’t feel like enough. It felt almost empty, and I wanted more. More of Jay’s scent, more of his name, of my cum splattered on his sheets like a perverted paint, of his voice and his skin and more of that wandering mouth of his and his well placed hands and I wanted _more_ ; I needed it, I craved it like a dying man craved life. I needed Jay, and he was there and he wasn’t all at once. I had his scent covering me but I needed his voice and his skin too. I needed him, and when my own body couldn’t provide, couldn’t keep up the charade that it was him, it dragged me into a deep sleep that I probably needed just as much.

~

Where is this? Where is here? There are sounds of festivity, but there’s no light. Sound, and the feeling of being touched. The feeling of being touched everywhere. I dislike it; these hands are too rough to be Jay’s, and this breath is too hot. And there’s too many of them, too many and none of them smell like anything to me. All I know is that all the hands are wrong and so are the words the too-hot voices speak.

_A male Omega? Don’t see much of those._

What? What does my gender have to do with anything? Just because I’m a guy…

_He’s kind of pretty for a male, isn’t he?_

No, no, I’ve never been pretty, not to anyone, not unless-

_Maybe he’s one of those cross-dressers._

Please, no, don’t say what I think you’ll say-

_Well, he’s in heat, won’t mind if we all take a peek._

Don’t-

_Just relax._

How can I, with your hands everywhere even if I can’t see them? How am I meant to relax when all too rough hands keep touching me everywhere they shouldn’t?

_Is it your first time? Just calm down, you’re practically programmed to want this._

Am I? I doubt it. If I’m supposed to like something, why do I only feel sick to my stomach at the idea of being touched like this by all these hands? I don’t like where they’re touching me, I want Jay, I want Jay to come get me, and maybe if I call for him he’ll come rescue me like he’s so good at, and he’ll replace the rough hands with his gentle ones. Jay…

_Who the hell is Jay?_

He’s- he’s my-

_Not his mate, kid doesn’t have a mark._

No! No, that’s not true! I may not be marked. We may not be bonded, but Jay… he’s special to me in a way I can’t describe…

And how dare they? How dare they call me things like ‘kid’? How dare they call me ‘sweetheart,’ ‘baby,’ and ‘honey’? How can they refer to me with gentle nicknames and child terms when it feels like they’re ripping me apart?

_Aw, come on, not even one little smile?_

No. I’d never smile. Not for them. Not for these nameless people whose hands are too familiar as they work in my body just to watch me squirm. Not for the ones that get tired of hands and want pleasure of their own. And I couldn’t smile if I wanted to for the ones forcing themselves in my throat.

It feels too real, and I don’t know where I would have felt it before, but… if here isn’t real, where is the burning feeling of people forcing themselves into me coming from? Where is that gagging and suffocating feeling gaining life from? Why do I feel so panicked, so scared; why is everything so _real?_

_Nick?_

_…Nick?_

_Nick!_

~

I sit up quickly, only to find my vision blurred with tears. Sunlight streams through the window. Jay sits beside me, looking at me with such worry that it’s hard to believe that he could ever smile at me.

“Nick, are you okay? You were crying and screaming and I- I thought you were hurt somehow,” Jay said, concern cut so deep into his features he looks as though he’ll crack. I shake my head and glance around the room. I don’t know how long I slept, but the cloud of lust is gone.

“I-“ Saying the words out loud makes them feel real, and God knows I’d feel like dying if I was wrong, but I feel somehow like it’s true. And if I’m going to say them at all, I want Jay to know first. As much as I dislike being some scared little Omega, I know that Jay makes me feel safe no matter what. He’d help me, surely, but I have to get the words out, so I do. I force them out as tears drip from my face in a hot waterfall. “When I was younger, I-“ They don’t come easy, but seeing Jay’s worry only drags them out faster. “I think I was raped.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha bitch you only thought this story was all fluff
> 
> Also if you guys want to check out some of my other works it would be much appreciated!! :) Obviously not the bullshit I post but I've also posted an original work so if you like rebellious teens androids gays and flipping off the government well then ;))))) check it out my friends


	8. To Remember is to Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick remembers something that could change his life, but only if he lets it. Unfortunately, he's stuck in the middle of more than one internal crisis, and for someone who usually doesn't have much drama, it's more than a little stressful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm so sorry, but I promise I'm not dead. I have writer's block and I'm moving and and and. Whoops, I guess?? Anyway, I hope you all like it and I really appreciate yall's sweet comments!

“I think I was raped.” Jay blinks a few times before pulling me into a tight hug. I cling to his shirt. My nightmare had me terrified, and even though I’m not sure what time it is, feeling Jay press me against him is a welcome comfort.

“I’m not- I believe you, but what suddenly makes you think that?” Jay’s voice is soft as a breeze against my ear. I shake my head. All I have to go on is that lingering feeling of pain and fear, how am I supposed to tell him that it’s just a guess? I can barely believe I said anything at all, and while it’s definitely comforting to know that Jay is automatically on my side, I don’t want him wasting his time, energy, and money on something that I can’t even fully remember. It makes me feel useless. It makes me feel like I’m worth nothing, but I can hardly admit how much I care about Jay. I don’t want to weigh him down with my problems; I wish I could just forget the dream and the fragmented memories it brought completely.

“Sorry, I just- don’t worry about it,” I tell him. It only seems to worry him more. I immediately regret saying anything at all. I know I’ve been worrying him about my heat, but this… this will only put more stress on him. An awful thought occurs to me. What if Jay decides this is too much stress for him? What if I lose the best thing to ever happen to me all because of some stupid dream? My grip tightens on his shirt.

“Nick?” Jay’s voice is soft and worried; his gentle breath rustling my hair. It calms my own erratic breathing. I breathe in his scent, bathing in it; in _Jay_. He’s so comforting that I can’t help but feel at home; safe. Part of me hates it, the part of me that wants to shove my past far away where Jay can’t worry about it. It’s stupid, I know it is, an Omega thinking that he can protect his Alpha. The thought of ‘my Alpha’ hits me hard enough that I forget what I’m worried about.

“I think someone raped me in college.” My voice is steadier than before. Jay’s worry turns into a fierce rage I hadn’t anticipated.

“What? Who?” His anger is not directed at me. It’s at someone he’s never met, and all for what? Because he… loves me? The idea heats my skin, but now most certainly isn’t the time. I press my face closer to him. I can feel his rage, but it’s overpowered by the feeling of care he radiates towards me. He pulls me as close as he can, and I fit right against his body. We go together perfectly, and I’ve never wanted to be held so much in my life. I melt into him. He’s saying something, but I can’t hear him. All I can think about, despite Jay’s scent and his warmth on my skin, is the feeling of foreign hands. I shove Jay off before I can even process the action; he looks hurt, but he doesn’t try to embrace me again.

“Sorry. Sorry, I just- I don’t-“ Jay shakes his head, raising a hand. He stands, his face kind. Always so kind… I don’t feel like I deserve it anymore.

“Hey, listen, I- I get it. Don’t worry about it. I can leave,” he tells me, still so kind, and guilt flashes through me like white-hot fire, guilt for telling him, guilt for remembering, guilt for it happening in the first place.

“No, I-“ As awful as I feel, I can’t think of anything to say to him. I want him against me and away from me all at the same time. I want reassurance; I want him to be quiet. I want to know what I want. Jay starts to reach for me again, soft expression rewritten with worry. My head feels fuzzy- my heat isn’t over; what I got was a brief moment of sobriety. Jay’s hand touches my arm. I barely remember last time, but something’s wrong. My skin burns, but I feel sick to my stomach.

_I can’t do this._

Jay tenses. He moves back, eyes wide. I watch his throat move as he swallows. I still feel sick, but at the same time, I want him back. I can’t shake the feeling; it grows the further he moves from me. My stomach hurts, but everything else- everything else hurts _worse._ I reach for him, disgusted by the needy whine that leaves my throat. Jay comes to me. He looks like he’s fighting something, and I hope it’s not the urge to leave. He holds my hands, kisses my cheek, lowers his voice to a soft whisper.

“Not like this.” And then he’s gone, nothing but a lingering scent in the bed sheets and warmth fading from my skin.

-

My heat ended earlier than expected. Even if it hadn’t, I don’t think it would’ve mattered. My stomach wouldn’t stop hurting. I missed Jay. I stayed in bed an extra day, and then it got to be too much. I had to leave that bed and that room as though that’s where it happened.

I meant to run down the hall, but all I managed was a weak stumble. The butler caught me when I slipped.

“Mr. Gatsby isn’t home. He left for the Buchanan residence a few moments ago. He said to tell you to rest, and that he-“ the butler pauses to take a breath. He looks pained. “And that he ‘loves you so much, baby.’ Exact words.” My face burns.

“He called me that?” The butler looks ready to retire.

“Yes, sir. He also said he’d be home soon.” I manage a nod, my face still scorching. I let the butler help me down the stairs and onto the couch. I’m so worn out just from my stomach hurting that all I can do is wait on the couch for Jay to get home. I feel pathetic, just sitting and waiting on my Alpha to come home.

I roll the phrase ‘my Alpha’ around in my head for a while. I used to despise the phrase, used to think about how degrading it would be to be someone’s Omega, but now, thinking about it, the thought doesn’t make me cringe. I extend the thought; try to imagine ‘belonging’ to someone other than Jay, but the idea makes me uncomfortable. I’m so caught up in it that I don’t notice Jay coming into the house until I’ve been pulled into his arms. He’s warm, and the relief pouring off of him is so intense it’s almost stifling.

“You’re awake,” he says, finally pulling me away and holding me at arm’s length. “I- I brought an officer with me from town. If you don’t want to tell him, I’ll send him back, but… it’s been a few days and I thought you might want to report it after all this time.” My whole body tenses at the idea of trying to tell any police officer, especially a guy, that I was- that I _might_ have been raped. I can barely process it myself, how am I supposed to convince a cop that it happened? Jay’s face crinkles in worry. “But like I said, I’ll send him back if you don’t want to t-“

“I- I want to.” Jay blinks, his face relaxing in a temporary moment of surprise. He shakes the expression away and nods, hurrying off the way he came. I suppose it’s less that I want to tell the officer and more like I feel somehow that I should. That it’s the least I could do. The feeling is difficult to place. Jay returns with a younger man following him; I swallow my anxiety enough to smile politely.

“You’re the other Mr. Gatsby, correct?” The officer has taken out a notepad, or maybe he already had it, I was too nervous to pay any real attention, and makes a note of my name.

“No,” I answer, shaking my head rapidly as my face threatens to flush red. “No, it’s Carraway, actually. Nick Carraway.” The officer glances between Jay and I. With the face he makes and how long it takes to write the note, I doubt he’s just writing my name.

“Now, your, uh, your mate tells me that you said you were raped?” He sounds like he already doesn’t like me, not to mention doesn’t believe me. I decide against correcting him about Jay and me and Jay seems to have the same thought, because he stays silent as well. I nod instead.

“Yeah, I mean, yes. Um, a few years ago, in college.” The officer makes another note. I shift in my seat. Somehow this is more than I bargained for and exactly what I needed at the same time, but mostly I just wish I’d never remembered at all.

“And you didn’t report it then?” The officer’s tone is judgmental. I shake my head.

“N-no, I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so, or you didn’t?” He sounds as though he’s accusing me of something. I’ll admit that my knowledge on laws about rape is slim, but there’s no way it’s against the law for me not to report it. Right?

“I- I don’t remember…” The officer sighs and shuts his notepad as loudly as I’ve ever heard paper be slammed. I shift my eyes away from him, letting myself focus on the presence of Jay sinking into the seat beside me.

“Mr. Carraway. I’m sure you’re aware of the consequences of filing a false report.” I snap my gaze up to look at him, eyes wide at his tired expression and accusatory tone. I shake my head again, an undignified squeak falling from my throat as I try to protest, but no words come to mind. “Listen,” he says, turning his gaze to Jay, as though I’m not worth his time. “It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve heard false reports from young Omegas who lied to their partners about being virgins. It’s a lie that works right up until you both go to f-“

“He wouldn’t lie to me about it, and even if he did, I wouldn’t care. He’s not lying.” Jay is out of his seat in an instant. I’ve never seen someone look so angry, or raise their voice at a police officer.

“Sir, please, I understand it could be an upsetting thing to think about, but sometimes you just aren’t as special as they tell you. Trust me, it’ll probably still be just as g-“

“I’m not lying.” My voice breaks, and it’s only then do I realize that I’ve started crying. “I wouldn’t lie about something like- like being r-“ I take a deep breath and try the word on my tongue again. It’s bitter. “R- raped.” I’m on my feet too now, but I get the feeling that my standing presence isn’t quite the same as Jay’s. The officer starts to speak again, looking incredibly offended, and I flinch before I even hear the words fall from his mouth.

“Omegas are just sluts. It’s what they are.” Jay is in front of me in a second. He moves so fast I don’t see him do it, only see him in front of me, arms out slightly as though his body could shield me from sound.

“Get out of my house.” His voice is calm, steady, but I can see him shaking. I take his hand to try and steady him, to let him know that I’m alright, but somehow I don’t think it really reaches him. “You don’t get to speak to him that way. Not here, not now, not ever. Get out of our house.” The officer looks frightened but holds his ground.

“Sir, please-“

“I said out.” Jay’s moves forward, stabbing a finger in the officer’s chest. “He knows I wouldn’t care if he’s been with other people. He wouldn’t lie,” Jay spits at him. The officer flinches with every word. “Even if he was, nothing gives you the right to come into our home and insult my Omega to my face. Get out.” If I’m being honest, I’ve never seen a man run so quickly out of a room. For a moment, I could understand how rumors got started that Jay was dangerous, but then it fades. He’s still angry, I can tell, but the tension is gone from his shoulders. He’s nothing but soft when he holds me. I was the one insulted, but it’s almost as though Jay was the one who was hurt by it.

“Jay…” His shoulder muffles my voice. “You didn’t have to do that.” Jay pulls back slightly, just enough to cup my face in one of his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he answers, his voice quiet. I shake my head; he’s got nothing to be sorry for, and I tell him so. “No, I called you my Omega before I ever even asked you if that was okay.” I’ll gladly admit that his explanation isn’t what I expected. He’s not sorry for yelling at a police officer, he’s sorry for… for what? Verbally claiming me? I almost don’t mind.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” I’m an idiot. Out of all the good answers to something like that, ‘don’t be ridiculous’ cannot possibly be one of them. Jay laughs. “I mean it. I-“ I pause for a moment, thinking about what I want to say and weighing my words carefully. “I think it suits me.” Jay’s entire face lights up, and I panic for a moment; I don’t want him getting carried away. “I-I’m not agreeing to like marry you or anything, so chill out. I just- I’m saying I didn’t mind it.” Jay nods, his smile still bright. He looks so pretty when he smiles, and suddenly my skin is far too warm under his hands, and I pull away.

“Right, sorry…” His smile fades and I feel immensely guilty for robbing him of it. “Ah, I can try to get another officer if you’d like. One that’s more sympathetic.” Jay looks hopeful that I might agree and tell him to go ahead, and I don’t want to let him down. At this point, I’d really like nothing more than to forget, but somehow I feel as though it will only get worse. I couldn’t possibly go the rest of my life always feeling slightly sick whenever Jay touched me. Besides, maybe it would make Jay feel better if he knew that whoever had- that they’d at least be accused.

“That sounds great, Jay,” I tell him, but my smile is forced, weak at best. I turn away before he can look at me. “I’m gonna go down to the beach for a little bit.” I leave, walking out of the back doors before I can hear whatever it is Jay wanted to tell me.

It’s bright outside, and I shudder from the harsh sunlight. I make my way down Jay’s dock, staring across the water at Daisy’s house. How funny it is, I think, for Jay to go to all this trouble for Daisy, only to end up with me and even more trouble.

I lean on the railing and watch the sun dance over the water. I find myself back in Jay’s pool, floating on my back with my eyes closed to the world, peaceful as I drifted in the clear water. I’m not sure where I’d rather be; peaceful and pining in my rich neighbor’s pool, or sick to my stomach in the house I share with my boyfriend. I’m actually almost sure that I would rather be neither, and instead be in a blissful combination of the two. I let my mind wander, staring at nothing but the end of Daisy’s dock as I travel to some other world; one where I don’t remember. One where it never happened. One where Jay found me that night at that party. I find myself in a daydream where I’m with Jay; I always have been, only Daisy is with Jordan and she’s happy. I let the daydream run free; I take joy in the conversations we have. I enjoy right up until my mind asks Daydream Daisy where Tom is. She laughs, that beautiful musical laughter that I heard too little of once she was married. She looks at me the way she did when we were kids and we’d pretend not to know how Daisy’s new dress got stained with mud.

_“Don’t you remember? Goodness, we must all be getting far too old! He’s in jail still for what he did to you, Nicky.”_

And then I’m ripped from paradise by the sound of a boat’s engine idling. I blink, letting my eyes adjust and focus on Tom, who’s standing on a boat and gesturing to the space next to him. I only catch the end of his invitation.

“Come on, Nick! You’ll love it!” My stomach churns. Something about his voice… something about that god-awful voice that I’ve hated since- that I’ve hated since college. He smirks- there’s nothing else his smile can be called, it’s truly malevolent, as though he’s gotten away with something- and suddenly I can’t help it anymore. I don’t care if it’s Tom’s boat, I don’t care that it’s gross or unattractive.

I lean over the railing of Jay’s dock, and I throw up, right onto the deck of Tom’s shiny, brand-new looking boat. He shouts, but all I hear is the footsteps pounding down the dock and when did I get on the ground? My throat and nose burn from it; I haven’t properly eaten in days. Jay carries me inside, and as soon as Tom has left my vision, my stomach feels much better. Jay washes my face and helps me undress, and it feels as though I’ve been sitting in the bath for ages before Jay finally asks me what the matter is.

“What happened? Was it something you ate?” I shake my head and feel dizzier with each question.

“No, I- Tom-“

“Tom?” Jay asks, his panic turning to anger. I can feel it come off of him in waves, and I start to wonder if this is what it’s like to have someone who wants to protect you. “What about Tom?

“It- Tom- in college. I- it was him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was really short and probably kind of disappointing after such a long wait, sorry! The next one will probably be longer (and probably take more time- oof!) so if it takes a while just know I'm sorry! I just want it to be good for you guys since you're all so supportive


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